Hearts and Minds
by S-Bumblebee
Summary: A collection of short drabbles revolving around the relationship between John and Shayera, no specific timeline just a collection of moments and events Pre and Post Starcrossed. ***Updated with 'Conclusions'*** Now Completed.
1. Watching and Waiting

**AN: Okay so another Drabble series only this time they will focus solely on John and Shayera...I am still working on a drabble series surrounding the other couples of JLU as mentioned before, however I do have a surplus of drabbles based around these two so I wanted to share them with you. **

**Other characters will be mentioned in and out and I will mention if necessary whether the drabble is set pre or post Starcrossed as that seems to be the major timeline event in their relationship. As before with my other drabbles, these are in no particular order and do not follow a timeline, they are simply moments/events that I have thought of and typed up. Hope you like these anyway and all feedback is welcome :)**

**Oh and the title was selected for symbolic purposes, 'Hearts and Minds' after all is the episode where I think both of them become fully aware of their feelings towards each other :)**

**Of course Justice League and its characters do not belong to me, instead they belong to their respective owners :)**

Watching and Waiting

The canteen is busy and despite herself she is seated with other Leaguers, half of her is relieved that she can sit amongst people without feeling guilty or feeling that she ought not to be there, but the other is craving solitude.

'_You need to know...I'm staying with Mari'_

She shudders involuntarily and one of the costumes asks her if she is quite alright, she nods and smiles although it doesn't reach her eyes.

Her eyes are drawn up and she realises that whether she is looking for him or not, and regardless of how large the crowd is...she will always see him, always watch him.

He is with Mari and her heart tears a little more but she has become a master at concealing her pain, at least until she is alone. She likes Mari, but the friendship is becoming harder, requiring too much energy, energy she isn't sure she has left.

As she sits with her lunch her attention no longer on her company, but on the man who so frequently invades her dreams, she watches him. Watches as he nervously rubs the back of his neck, the way his eyes shift to look around the room, the way he smiles, but the smile she is seeing is unlike the ones she has seen before, it is different, strained.

Despite knowing that she should try to move on with her life, and create a new one for herself with someone else, she knows that there is no one else she would rather spend her life with. She tried to move on, she tried with Carter, but there was something about her and Carter that seemed wrong, she knew why it felt wrong.

She wasn't made for him.

So instead she watches the man she is made for and waits for the day that he realises like she has, that there is no one else for them except each other.


	2. Fly with Me

Fly with Me

Impulsive as ever she had flung herself from the edge of the cliff and he watched as she effortlessly extended her wings, catching the wind as she communicated with it like no other flyer he knew. After a pause he followed her into the air with the familiar green aura of his ring engulfing him as he chases after her.

Within moments he is by her side and she smiles easily, the wind tugging at her red tresses as she flaps her wings harder and speeds off ahead.

Together they fly, twisting and turning, diving and soaring, never touching and never speaking.

Their communication is silent but they each know the other enough that words aren't necessary, they fly together without needing to communicate and inform the other where they will turn next.

At last she begins to rise and he knows their flight is near its end, he follows her circling around her as she reaches altitude. In a moment of spontaneous thought, overwhelmed by her grace in flight, he edits his concentration and large green wings emanate from his back.

For a moment they hover opposite one another, he smiles and she returns it. Although he is not exerted from the flight, her face is flushed with effort and her eyes are alight with something only flying can give her.

"You're beautiful" He breathes overwhelmed by her.

She moves closer to him and he extends his arms ready for her as she embraces him, her wings wrapping around him as she allows his ring to keep them suspended. The flight means more to her than what it seems, he doesn't know but it is a traditional Thanagarian ritual. Two lovers fly together to prove their union, to test their synchronisation, to witness their wings share the winds.

His gesture of his own wings means more to her than she can say but she leans close and nuzzles his neck affectionately.

"Your wings are beautiful" She whispers.


	3. Say my Name

**AN: Centuri Eagle kindly reminded me that I hadn't mentioned before hand what episode references to look out for, so I present them to you now :)**

*****Episode References 'Terror Beyond', 'Wild Cards', 'Starcrossed', 'Wake the Dead' and 'Ancient History'*****

Say my Name

"Hawkgirl!"

She rolls her eyes in irritation as the bossy, arrogant, military obsessed Green Lantern shouts her name because she wasn't listening. Frankly she doesn't really care that she trashed the hostile ship with her mace...it was shooting at her after all.

"Hawkgirl"

The monitor blips as she smacks it with her fist, she doesn't appreciate his condescending tone, she is a warrior and more than capable of staring at monitors and determining the safety of the planet below.

"Hawkgirl?"

For a second she falters at the sound of his voice before she catches herself and returns her face to a mask of annoyance. She doesn't want him to know that she appreciates him looking for her after finding out about her brief friendship with Grundy.

"Shayera"

The shudder runs from her head to the tips of her wings and feet, her mask has been removed and she has just disentangled from a very long kiss. Her first one with him and she knows she doesn't want to kiss any other man ever again.

"Shayera!"

A quick retort snaps out of her mouth as he grouses at her for eating eel heads which he apparently finds revolting. Deliberately she takes another bite and laughs as he retches.

"Shayera"

She hates the hurt she can hear pouring in his voice and silently she can hear her heart breaking, her lies are finally at an end but so is the happiest time of her life.

"Shayera?"

Her eyes do everything they can to avoid his and she focuses on looking away for as long as possible, but finally she gives in and let's herself look at him. She has missed him more than she can ever say but all she manages is a quip about his beard.

"Shayera!"

Ignorance is something she has gotten used to, much like her continuous loneliness and she tries to ignore the pleading in his voice as he asks her to turn around to look at him. She doesn't want to turn around and see the man that doesn't want a future with her.

"...Shayera"

The winged woman smiles like she hasn't smiled in years, which is true...she stares at the man lying beside her who has just breathed her name softly in his sleep. Even now after so many years, his deep baritone voice caressing the syllables of her name still sends shivers down her spine.


	4. Say my Name II

*****Episode References 'Only a Dream', 'Wild Cards', 'Starcrossed', 'Wake the Dead' and 'Ancient History'*****

Say my Name II

"Green Lantern!"

He grimaces as he realises the hot headed Thanagarian who is never seen without a mace is calling for him, he hopes to God that it isn't anything to do with him telling Superman that she is impulsive and subsequently a liability to the team.

"Lantern"

Ignoring the roll of her eyes and the irritation on her face, he continues to lean down and berate her about her unorthodox and sometimes overly aggressive attitude towards just about everything and anything.

"GL?"

Glancing out of the corner of his eye he sees her approaching, he is beginning to find her confusing especially with how at ease he feels around her and he wonders if he makes her feel the same way. However he shrugs off the feeling, surely someone as hard headed and as shielded as her couldn't let her barriers fall for someone else.

"Lantern!"

He hears her screaming somewhere beyond the barrier and something inside him snaps, he realises that he can't stand to hear her in distress or in pain. He hastily shoves J'onn out of the way so that he can take a shot at the force field separating them, separating him from her.

"John"

Vulnerable and almost dead an hour ago, he doesn't know where to focus his eyes in his quest to memorise as many of her features as possible. Bright emerald eyes, loose, lazy red bangs...she is beautiful and his newly beating heart lifts when she says his name for the first time.

"John..."

His heart is broken; he doesn't think that any physical pain could ever compete with the ache he feels in his chest. She had lied to them all of this time, lied to him, and now he wonders just how many hushed conversations amongst warm sheets had been lies too.

"John!"

Her voice is a mixture of irritation and trepidation but he ignores it, he hasn't seen her for over a year and his eyes are greedy in their quest to update his previous mental image of her with any new features. Sadly the only difference is the hurt he can see contained beneath the surface and the restraints she is holding against her personality.

"Lantern"

Internally he writhes as she refers to him by his title, something she hasn't done in a very long time, but he cannot blame her...after all he has just explained to her why he can't be with her, he is with Vixen now.

"John"

Her sigh is deep and he feels it cut against his heart despite the protection he has tried to wrap around it to shield it from more pain. The look in her eyes moments ago, the elation, the excitement, the hope...has faded since he has told her he won't abide by destiny's rules... his heart pleads with his mind to let her back in.

"...John Stewart"

Today he has never been happier, today he slipped a gold band onto her slender finger and she agreed to bind herself to him by Earth customs for the rest of her life. He can't help the grin on his face as she slips a similar band onto his own finger and she smiles at him in a way that convinces him that they belong together.


	5. Promised

Promised

She was never one to be nervous, never in her entire life had she ever been nervous, or scared, but today was beginning to prove her wrong. Her legs feel like lead as she makes her way unsteadily up the stairs to his apartment thankful that there isn't anyone around to see her discomfort or her nerves, much less her wings.

They had been back together now for three months and there was only one thing she could think of that she could do to prove to him her commitment, to show him how much she wants to be with him.

Knocking on the door she swallows hard over the lump in her throat, the door opens and there he is capturing her in those unnatural green eyes. John smiles and invites her inside, as she steps in she catches sight of the dinner he has put together for them and the sight of his effort brings a smile to her face.

It was now or never.

"John, I need to ask you something...something that's very important to me"

"What is it Shayera?"

She procures a small box from her pocket and opens it revealing a small simple silver stud earring.

"Will you be my promised one?"

**AN: Okay so that's all I've got for you for now, wasn't sure about this one but I think its logical that Shayera would ask John to be her 'promised one' I wrote this as a Post Starcrossed piece as it seems more fitting. Hope you've liked these so far, I will update regularly :)**


	6. Sorrows

Sorrows

Seated at a small bar, a red headed woman makes a grab for her fifth drink, by human standards she ought to be passed out considering the liquor she has decided upon tonight...however she isn't human and she can hold her drink.

Sighing she stares into the dark pool of liquid in her glass before knocking it back in one go, the burn in her throat doesn't even make her uncomfortable its nothing compared to the throbbing in her heart. Her shoulders shrug through her annoyance at having to wear a constricting overcoat just so that she can go somewhere for something alcoholic and she is thankful that the liquid dulls her nervousness at being somewhere in public and amongst people.

A man sits beside her uninvited, she doesn't need to turn to know who it is because he often finds her here when she is busy drowning her anguish. He knows that she comes here when she can't stand the pain anymore and he regrets that he cannot comfort her the way that she needs.

"Go away Carter...I'm busy" She says none too politely and still not bothering to look at him.

"I can see that Shayera...perhaps I will join you"

"What the hell for?" She snaps while waving at the bartender to bring back the bottle she had threatened him to leave alone before.

"So that you aren't alone"

"I'm always alone"

"Let me help you" He pleads with her hating the pain in her voice.

"You can't..."

He grabs her hand and ignores her when she rips it out of his grasp.

"Shayera...you just have to wait"

For the first time since he's sat down, she looks at him...there are tears there that she refuses to let fall.

"I'm tired of waiting" She mumbles her voice cracking as she forcibly pushes the glass and bottle away...it isn't numbing her broken heart as much as she had hoped.

"You've waited eight thousand years Shayera...a little longer doesn't matter"

For a second she stares at him blankly before she draws her face into a scowl "Shut up Carter"

"Fine" He says softly "But I'm not leaving you here to drown your sorrows...alone"

She does something then that takes him completely by surprise...she starts to cry.


	7. Cry of a Hawk

**AN: No particular episode reference here...but can be placed in the episode 'Injustice for All' **

Cry of a Hawk

The battle is fierce, the League and their enemies have split into numerous directions and it becomes increasingly more challenging to remain aware of where everyone is. Despite this and despite the various directions that danger can come from, he searches for her.

Star Sapphire attempts to strike him with an energy beam which he narrowly avoids, he internally slaps himself for becoming distracted, he is a Green Lantern and focus is everything, he _must _focus.

His attention falters yet again but this time it's because he hears _her_, he doesn't see her but he distinctly heard the battle cry followed swiftly by a dull thwack. Star Sapphire looks at him bizarrely and he realises that he is in actual fact grinning, using her moment of uncertainty John quickly attacks with a blast of emerald and she deflects it, just.

The battle continues as before but this time the Green Lantern is no longer distracted, instead he is fully focused on the task at hand. John is no longer concerned about the welfare of his team member, he is comforted by the yells and shouts of anger he can hear over his shoulder because he knows that as long as he can hear them...she is safe.


	8. Soul Bound

**AN: A pre-Warning with this one, its quite angsty...I had a hard time writing it because of the fact, so its just a warning of what to expect. **

Soul Bound

The room is silent and the curtains are drawn, soft music plays in the background, music that they both find pleasant and comforting and at the current time it is needed. Carefully she seats herself beside him on the bed and slowly lies down next to him, they have spent many years together but they both know their time is coming to its end.

"Hey" She whispers in his ear quietly as she grasps his aged hand with her own and intertwines their fingers.

"Hey yourself"

She smirks at his reply and rests her head on his chest listening to his shallow breathing, despite the knowledge they share on this moment, both are comfortable and contented, because they'll share it together.

"...John"

"Shhh" He shushes her gently "It's okay Shayera...It's okay"

There is a pause as she takes a deep breath, she isn't sure how he might reply to her next words and upsetting him is something she doesn't want to achieve...not now.

"Do you think...that we'll see each other again...in the future?"

John is quiet for a long moment and she panics, a lump forming in her throat as she thinks it's too late, but relief washes over her as he breaks the deafening silence.

"I think so...we'll meet again...I'll find you"

The grip on his hand tightens and he squeezes back reassuringly with the strength that he has left.

"I love you Shayera...and I will in the next life too"

Before she can reply she becomes aware that he isn't with her anymore, she doesn't need to check him, she felt it...something in her heart...something inside her faded.

A single tear travels down her creased features and she cuddles up closer to him. Thanagarians believe that death in battle is the most honourable way for a warrior to pass on, adrenaline and power flooding through their veins, but this Thanagarian has lived long enough to discover that the tranquillity she feels now is far better than any death achieved while fighting.

"I love you too John" She whispers into his chest, she knows that he didn't need to hear her but she wishes that he had... just one last time.

"I'll see you later" She smiles "Maybe next time things will be easier...I hope so"

She reaches up and kisses his warm forehead, his eyes are already closed and for the briefest of moments she sees the face of their son and her heart lifts with pride. Returning to his chest she closes her own eyes hoping beyond hope with her last breaths that their souls will search for each other and that someday she'll find him again.

**AN: I have something in mind to expand upon this drabble, more than likely a future fic so keep an eye out for that, although its still in the planning stages...**


	9. Envy

**AN: This is more a drabble focusing solely on Shayera and is set before the formation of the Justice League. **

Envy

She has been on this planet for a little over a year, she has a mission to gather intelligence and gauge whether this planet could survive a Gordanian invasion. After living here for as long as she has, she has started to watch the humans more keenly, she watches from her perch on a high building as the humans move around below. Often times they move in groups or large herds, mostly she sees families of adults with young children and infants.

Inside she wonders what having a family would feel like; Thanagar a planet wrought by war didn't much favour the idea of family. Children left their parents at young ages to join the military; she herself had little knowledge of her parents.

She continues to observe from her perch, she sees how pairings of humans stand together or walk together, always touching in some way, holding hands, embracing, kissing. Again she is reminded of Thanagar and of her promised one, she loves her promised one and obeys him as she should obey her Commander, but these humans seem to be different. Their love seems different, more intimate, more equal; she fidgets with her helmet and rearranges it to make it more comfortable, she finds the human's permanently revealed faces unnerving.

The last thing she notices before she must leave is that the human's do as they please, they move from one place to another with their families and loved ones, no orders to obey and no Gordanians to fear, they are safe and contented, she realises something and the thought makes her uncomfortable.

She envies them.

She envies their freedom.


	10. Heart Beat

**AN: This one is set after Starcrossed and you'll notice its quite similar to Linguist from my first Justice League Drabble collection, but is a little different :)**

Heart Beat

The room is cast in dim twilight; a thin beam of early rising sun streaming through the small slot between the curtains serves to stir one of the occupants. Waking groggily the woman rolls onto her stomach and stretches her wings extending them behind her at their full length, the long primary flight feathers brushing against the ceiling. Folding them carefully she shifts closer to her sleeping partner and smiles softly to herself, his breathing is deep and regular and she wastes no time in lying her head on his warm, broad chest.

A moment passes by and she concentrates on the silence until all she can hear is the soft thudding of his heart in his chest, she listens intently and wonders to herself at what moment their separate hearts began beating as one. It might have been when she had restarted it with the electrical discharge of her mace, it might have been when he had told her he would die for her, and it might have been when they were stranded in their search for War World.

Then again it could have been earlier still, or maybe she thought, their hearts had always been beating in unison, calling to each other to draw these two people together across the stars, to unite them so that the two halves could become one.


	11. Another Language

**AN: I must have written and re-written this one more times than I can count, I'm finally relatively happy with this one but I'm still not completely sure...**

**Anyway...this one is set before Starcrossed **

Another Language

He is fascinated by her, watching her every chance he gets he mentally notes her subtle body language, the change in the shape of her eyes beneath the mask, the way her voice changes as she steadily gets angrier.

This time as he watches her he pays special attention to her wings, the most interesting and foreign aspect to her outer appearance, currently they seem normal, relaxed behind her as she stands peering out of the observation window of the Watchtower.

As he watches discreetly from his monitor, the young speedster Flash zips up beside her and John notes how her feathers become more textured, perhaps she was startled or maybe it's out of irritation. Continuing to watch the scene unfold he muses to himself as Flash is clearly aggravating her and she threatens him with her mace, holding the weapon up where the speedster can see it. Her wings by this point are slightly open, flaring; they give the appearance of making her larger and more threatening...as if she needed any assistance by anything other than that mace.

John chuckles as Flash shoots off in a blur and the chuckle stops in his throat as she rounds on him.

"What's so funny Lantern?"

"Nothing...nothing at all"

He doesn't miss the way her wings twitch; if he hadn't been so intent on watching them he was sure he would have missed it. He wonders what the twitch might mean.

"You okay anyway Hawkgirl?" He asks testily but remaining as casual as possible.

Her eyes widen a little in surprise before they settle back into their accustomed frown but John spots the little lift in her wings, the way they lifted and heightened themselves on her back.

"Fine" She answers shortly before stalking back to the observation window.

Curious John gets up and walks over to her only this time her wings spread a little without opening and reveal more of her back, a distant thought crosses his mind as he realises that he could fit perfectly in between them at that moment, of course he does no such thing. He stands beside her and peers out of the window stubbornly trying to engage her in a conversation.

He doesn't realise that the action of showing him her back is a gesture of fondness and attraction, the action itself showing the most vulnerable part of her body. The area between her wings is particularly sensitive and has often been an area exploited by Gordanians during torture; she has her own scars to prove it.

As John attempts to coax her into a conversation he is unaware that she is mentally chastising herself, if he were Thanagarian her action a moment ago would have been recognised and her subtle affection for him realised. She is relieved that he does not understand the subtle language of her wings which means that her unfaithfulness to her promised one for now remains with her, and her alone.


	12. Comics

*****Episode Reference 'Legends'*** I might write a companion to go with this one :D**

Comics

They weren't real

So why did he feel like this?

He stared into the abyss of space, nothing but the blue and green orb of Earth turning slowly beneath them as the Watchtower made its trip around in orbit.

"_They gave their lives for us, that's real enough for me"_

Tilting his head a tiny amount he chanced a look at his companion, she was still standing with him, one arm linked through his and her chin resting on his shoulder. Something was different between them, a sudden closeness that he hadn't noticed before, granted he always felt comfortable with her once they had reached an understanding, but this was remarkably different. Unlike normal she was approachable, she'd even attempted to comfort him, it seemed so strange but he considered that maybe there was more to her aside from the thick headed, battle loving outer...maybe deep down she was just as vulnerable as the rest of them.

"Hawkgirl?"

"Mmm?"

"Do they have comics on Thanagar?"

She was quiet for a long moment and he noticed the change in her expression in what little of her face he could see, he was about to open his mouth to apologise when she finally answered.

"No...No we didn't have comics on Thanagar"

"Have you ever read one?"

She shook her head to confirm that she hadn't, John stood up forcing her to release his arm and step back slightly.

"Not even the ones in the newspaper?" He asked her with amusement.

She pursed her lips and set her fists on her hips, frowning all the while.

"No...Where's this going Lantern?"

Suddenly he grabbed her hand and started pulling her along; he wondered how he'd managed to get away with the gesture before she suddenly tore her hand out of his grasp.

"What are you doing?" She snapped.

He sighed before he smiled a little, the smile that she only saw when he spoke about his childhood.

"I want to take you to the comic store I used to visit as a kid, it's still there now"

Surprisingly she relaxed and stepped up beside him.

"Let's go then"

"Wait...really...you want to go?"

She frowned "Hurry up before I change my mind, Lantern"


	13. Comics II

**AN: So I present to you the conclusion of 'Comics' With Episode reference to 'Legends'**

Comics II

"And that was how he saved the hostages"

Hawkgirl nodded as she turned the page of the comic book she held in her hands, the paper was light in her fingers and held a musky aged smell that she didn't find unpleasant. Green Lantern was busy searching through stacks of books as he explained to her over his shoulder the history of the Green Guardsman.

"His weakness is Aluminium right?" Hawkgirl queried aloud as she flipped through a second comic that he had just handed to her.

"Yeah..."

She nodded again and stood up, they were sitting in the backroom of the comic store, the owner an old friend of Lantern's had offered to let them look through the comics in privacy, she had no doubt that her wings were one aid towards that decision. The other she mused was probably the Lantern's continuous enthusiastic talking, although she didn't mind, in fact she realised she quite enjoyed listening to him talk... when it didn't concern missions and report writing.

"Oh man! Hawkgirl you _have_ to read this one...Issue fifty nine was _the_ best issue" John declared happily from another box of comics.

Hawkgirl found herself smiling, not an hour ago he was forlorn and withdrawn in a way she had never seen, but now, now he was like a kid in a candy store...well comic store. He was so enthused and happy she found it infectious, she'd never seen him like this before and a part of her wanted to get to know this side of him, while a voice in the back of her head that wasn't as strong as it used to be told her she had to remain detached.

"Well...let's see it then...no point telling me it's the best issue without showing it to me"

John grinned happily as he watched her reseat herself on the floor "I was going to keep it for myself"

She narrowed her eyes but didn't lose the tentative smile "No fair Lantern...I thought you wanted me to read comics?"

Once again he grinned at her and pulled the issue he'd mentioned out of the box before walking over to where she was sat and plopping down next to her. Hawkgirl shuffled unconsciously closer to him in order to see the comic he held and as he flipped the page to the first she ran her eyes over the pictures and speech bubbles. Leaning slightly closer to read the second page she noticed something that sent a chill down her back; she could feel Lantern's breath on her neck.

Moving her head back she realised just how close she had gotten to the Green Lantern in order to read the pages. Slowly she looked in his direction and saw that he was watching her and her heart started beating faster of its own accord...he was so close.

Awkwardly Hawkgirl cleared her throat before reaching down and taking the issue from his gloved hands, he didn't resist but let her take it.

"If you don't mind" She stated turning with her back to him and trying to sound irritated but suspecting she hadn't done as good a job as she'd intended.

"No" Lantern said softly as he reached into another box and selected another comic "I don't mind at all"


	14. Glimpses

**AN/ Right, sorry I've been kind of quiet on the drabble front, I've been a little distracted and I've been having a bout of writers block as well, but hopefully I'm almost at the end of it. **

**Anyway this is as a request for _ManUgirl_, now I won't mention what your request was as it will give this away, but I thought it would be cool to try a different angle on it...anyway I do hope that you like what I decided to go with. **

**I also decided to challenge myself and do a dialogue only piece, I hope it isn't too confusing. Hope you enjoy reading :)**

Glimpses

"Damn it, that's cold!"

"Shayera, it's just jelly"

"I know what it is! ...It's bloody cold!"

"I thought you were supposed to be a warrior?" _A pause..._ "Ouch!"

"Keep quiet Lantern"

"Fine...but there was no need to be violent"

"There was every need..."_ A gasp..._ "Oh John...look!"

"I don't see anything"_ Another pause_ "Ouch! Do you have to?"

"You're not looking properly"

"I'm looking!"

_A sigh..._ "John...there!"

"Oh hey! I see it now...wow..."

"I know right"

"I can't believe it Shayera...it's so..."

"I know John...I can't believe it either..."

"Make sure we get six copies"

"One for everyone?"

"Of course"

"...Even Bruce?"

"Even Bruce"

"I can't wait John"

"Me neither Shayera...I wonder what Wally will say"

"I want to tell them all together...if we tell Wally first the whole satellite and tower will know before anyone can blink"

"We'll tell them all together"

"I can't believe we're really having a baby John"

"Are you happy Shayera?"

"More than anything"

"Me too"

"I love you John"

"I love you too Shayera...both of you"

**AN/ Once again I hope you liked it and I hope that you could figure out what was going on. :D**


	15. Get Better

**AN/ Found this one stashed on my computer ;)**

Get Better

The Medbay room was silent except for the continuous and regular beeping of the various machines and monitors. She stood there watching him in silence, he had been badly injured in a fierce battle with numerous villains and she hadn't been there.

She herself had been on an assignment on the other side of the planet and had returned as soon as possible upon being informed that he was unconscious but stable.

The room remained in silence as she stared at him in a rare moment where she was alone with him, seeing him hurt and vulnerable pained her beyond her comprehension, she was frightened...terrified that she might lose him. He was all she had left, the only reason she got up in the morning.

Stepping over to his bedside she allowed her eyes to focus on his bruised face, she was tired of trying to conceal her emotions because he was with another woman, she was exhausted in her efforts to keep them restrained, but she could deny it no longer.

She loved him with every fibre of her being, she wanted nothing more than to hold him, protect him, comfort him, love him...but she knew she could not.

Instead she checked around the room to make sure they were still alone, and before anyone could arrive, before Mari could return with a fresh cup of coffee to resume her seat, before J'onn could enter to check his vitals and before John himself could wake up...she bent down and kissed him tenderly on his forehead. Leaning closer still she whispered into his ear softly so that her voice was barely audible.

"Get better soon, John"

Then she turned and left, the sliding doors closing behind her.

Back inside John Stewart shifted in his heavy sleep and sighed.

"Shayera..."


	16. Family Man

**AN/ I actually really like this one, its a little longer than the usual length I roughly go for but it covers what I think John would base his little dilemma on. Hope you like it :D**

Family Man

Destiny...a pre-determined fate that you were without question expected to fulfil in one way or another out of the boundaries of your control.

There wasn't a day that went past that he didn't ponder over the ideas of Destiny and Fate, not a single day. Some days seemed worse than others, some days he'd stew for hours over the concepts of a pre-determined destiny and all the little complexities that came with it, other days he could push it to one side like a tiny muffled voice in the back of his head. It was always there though...and to him it was always mocking.

A number of occasions and instances suggested beyond a doubt that he was destined to be with Shayera. Spontaneous and hot-headed she had been a breath of fresh air, but with her had come pain, pain like he had never felt in his entire life and pain he went out of his way never to experience again. She was his destiny according to the timeline, past and future, and despite convincing her that he just didn't want his life to be out of his own control...really, he just didn't want that pain again, the kind that only she could give him.

The pain was still nursed within his heart, albeit the pain was less harsh...all the same it remained but was joined now by an ache caused by meeting his son in the future, being reminded of all of those dreams of family that had filled his mind while he and Shayera had been together more personally.

Sitting in the cafeteria silently hoarding a cup of coffee he had a realisation. Still struggling with the decision of which woman to dedicate his life to, not wanting more hurt from Shayera and not wanting to hurt Mari, in John's mind it came down to one simple thing and it wasn't destiny.

He wanted a family. He was ready now in his heart to settle down and build a home to share with his loved ones. John glanced beside him at Mari and taking a discrete moment to take in her beauty and the gentle frown she wore as she flipped through the magazine in her hands. He cared deeply for Mari and he tried to imagine what having a family with her would be like, but there was a voice in the back of his mind something telling him that she wasn't the type to settle down. Looking across the cafeteria John easily spotted Shayera sitting at a table with Diana and having an animated conversation, forgetting about everything for the moment he just watched her. She was beautiful in her own effortless way and she was so spirited...he knew deep in his soul that she made him complete and whole unlike any other.

Many times in his mind and dreams he had pictured a family with her, even before the knowledge of Rex. If he asked anybody they would tell him that the Thanagarian just wasn't the sort to be maternal, too short tempered and impatient, but he knew her better, he had seen the tender part of her, gentle and compassionate, even affectionate. Deep down he knew that if he wanted to settle down, she would be the one, he would bring up his family with her.

But there was that pain again, the pain that morphed into a fear that she'd break him again, betray him, hurt him and he didn't know if he could go through that again.

Thoughtfully he turned to Mari and asked her a simple question, a question that was laced with hidden answers that would guide his later decisions.

He wanted a family and he needed to know if Mari wanted one too and whether she wanted it with him.

"Mari...do you want kids?"

Mari choked on her coffee, and John had his answer.


	17. Almost

**AN/ Writer's block is finally gone *does a dance* XD **

**Anywho, this is set Pre-Starcrossed which will become apparent. ***Episode References 'Wild Cards' and 'Starcrossed'*****

Almost

_**Sometimes people have important things they need to say, and every day they try to find a way to say them.**_

The Medbay was cast in dim twilight; she perched on the bed beside him knowing where this conversation was going...knowing that she just couldn't go there no matter what.

"John...this can't go any further"

'_I'm really here gathering intelligence; I'm not stranded at all'_

* * *

><p>His body was warm and welcoming, her helmet was off and sat neatly on the table...they were watching movies. He was wearing a sleeveless shirt and she could see the USMC tattoo on his arm. She traced it forgetting about the movie for a moment.<p>

"What's this?" She asked curious.

John held her closer slipping a hand under the back of her shirt to feel the warmth of her skin.

"My Marine Corps tattoo"

'_I'm a soldier too...I'm a Lieutenant of the Thanagarian Empire'_

* * *

><p>Snuggled beneath the sheets she hugged him from behind, a combination of her arms, wings and legs wrapped around him in her desire to be as close to him as possible. For the first time she had told him that she loved him, whispered it into his ear as they fell asleep together after their union. He stirred and she smiled against the back of his neck before kissing him lightly and tucking her chin against his shoulder, her mouth by his ear.<p>

"I love you John"

'_I've never told anyone that I love them...even my promised one, my Commander'_

* * *

><p>The night is young and she's with the others scouting and patrolling around the Embassy. Really she doesn't want to be there, she wants to be with a certain someone and she smiles inwardly as she flies over once more.<p>

"Hey there"

"Hey yourself, aren't you supposed to be patrolling the North end?"

"I thought I saw trouble over here"

"There's no trouble"

"Sure there is...and I'm looking right at her"

He leans in and plants a kiss.

"Oh, you're bad"

"You should know"

'_John...I really need to tell you that I'm not what you think I am...I'm a soldier not a detective...I've told my people all of the League's secrets...I'm engaged to someone...'_

She wants to tell him but all she manages to do is ask if they can get take out after their work is finished, maybe she can find the courage to tell him then...

Moments later...her time has run-up...they're here and she doesn't have any more chances left, she can't put it off until later anymore.

**_Sometimes people have important things they need to say, but most of the time it's left until it's too late._**


	18. Hearts and Minds I

**AN/ I suddenly realised that although I had titled this collection of drabbles as Hearts and Minds, I hadn't as yet covered the episode with a drabble...these two are to right that :) **

*****Episode Reference 'Hearts and Minds' 'Justice on Trial' 'Legends' and 'The Savage Time*** Contains direct quotations. **

Hearts and Minds

She was screaming, he could hear her...how could he not she was right beside him? Right there next to him where she had always been but he'd never noticed before. Never until this moment that dragged on forever, had he realised that wherever he was, whatever was happening she was always there next to him. The trial on Aduris Four, his self doubts when they were trapped on the alternate Earth with the Justice Guild and even when he thought he was going to die on Vandal Savage's jet.

In a rare moment where time slowed down, his mind pondered these details, when had he been there for her? When had he taken care of her? Protected her? Been there to support her? He couldn't name one moment, not one.

She was still screaming Despero wanted to make her one of his personal priestesses, John wasn't stupid he knew what that implied, but he was confused as to why the notion bothered him so much that he became desperate to do something...anything that would free her.

Katma was down, he'd watched with his own eyes, his mind had told him to do something but he couldn't see an opportunity to do so...so instead he watched with horror as she screamed in terror before becoming one of Despero's minions.

She was screaming, he could hear her...how could he not, his heart was screaming at him with her. While his heart demanded that he must do something, it was his mind that struggled to do so, something was broken, not the ring but something in him, but he didn't know what it was.

'_There's more to me than a fancy ring...'_

'_I've always known that, John'_

It became clear to him in that moment and every ounce of his will poured into the action of summoning his ring, sweat dribbled down his forehead as he concentrated with every fibre of his being, focused, thought, breathed...

His heart and mind became one in their task, the task to protect her, fight for her...die for her if need be.

"Something's can't be taught, something's you only get through experience"

"Like?"

"Clarity"


	19. Hearts and Minds II

Hearts and Minds II

This feeling had been bothering her; she couldn't shake it off no matter how hard she tried or how much she pretended that John blasting off into space like a rocket for another woman didn't bother her. It really did and that bothered her too.

She wasn't supposed to feel this way, no...She wasn't _allowed_ to feel this way. Wasn't allowed to feel embarrassed when Flash suggested that they sounded like an old married couple, wasn't allowed to feel left behind when he rocketed into space, wasn't allowed to feel envious when she heard about his relationship with Katma Tui.

Wasn't allowed to be attached.

So why was she?

The earrings she wore were a constant reminder that she was promised to another man, her Commander, so why did she try to ignore them every time she looked into the mirror, why did she feel so unworthy when she caught herself staring at the Green Lantern?

There was a defining moment where she realised that what she felt wouldn't go away just because she wasn't allowed to feel that way. John was confused and full of self doubt, feeling helpless and incapable. Her mind told her to beat it out of him, soldier to soldier, equal. Her heart told her to comfort him, tell him everything would be fine, that he'd find what was broken because he never gave in even when he didn't have the nearly infinite power of his ring. She disguised the notion as friend, but really... there was more to it and she knew that he hadn't worked it out yet.

So when it was all over and he told her he had gained clarity...she allowed herself a little smile. In her mind she replayed the moment, the moment when Katma had been brought onto Despero's side...and the moment where John found his will...found it to protect her, not Katma.

Her heart lifted with that quirky smile he had when he told her that he had clarity.

Her mind argued with her...

'_You're not allowed to feel this way'_

Right then...she realised she was starting not to care.

**AN/ Hoped you liked these two :)**


	20. Grief

**AN/ This was originally going to be something else but I changed it as I went along, I think I'm happier with this though. Hope you like it. **

*****Episode References 'Comfort and Joy' and 'Hunter's Moon'*****

Grief

John hadn't imagined his night would turn out like this; just about to tuck himself into bed after getting off of the phone from Mari who was currently away on a shoot; he had been surprised when J'onn contacted him on the comm.

Now he found himself stood outside a bar halfway across the galaxy, more specifically in the Omega quadrant. Shayera had gone missing and no one could account for where she was except that she had told them she was going to a bar where they knew how to celebrate like a Thanagarian, John knew of only one place. Sighing to himself he remained outside remembering the last time he had been here, that had been an adventure in its self, but now was a painful reminder of everything they had lost together.

Steeling himself, John took a step forward and pushed the door open to be greeted by very loud music and an assortment of beings from a variety of planets, thankfully as yet a brawl hadn't broken out. Pushing discreetly through the crowd of people, careful not to step on tentacles or other appendages he made it to the bar.

"Have you seen a..." John wasn't sure what to ask "A Thanagarian woman? A little shorter than me with red hair"

The barman eyed him with recognition before shouting down the bar "Wings! Someone here looking for ya!"

"Well tell them to get lost" Came her voice in reply carrying over the din of music easily.

John moved towards the direction of her voice and found her sitting on a stool knocking back something he didn't really want to identify.

"Shayera..."

She turned to him and stared at him with slightly defocused eyes, he wondered just then how much she must have drunk.

"Go away John"

"Shayera, I'm taking you back to the Watchtower"

"I don't want to go back...not yet"

"What are you doing here anyway?" He asked looking around and being careful not to bump into anyone lest he start a fight.

"Celebrating" She stated tilting her glass back again before slamming the table to prompt a refill.

"Celebrating what?" John asked trying to wrack his brains to work out what it could be.

She squinted at the newly refilled glass "Dooming my home world" She said trying to conceal her self-loathing.

Realisation hit John in the face, two days ago she came back from a mission with Vixen and Vigilante, she'd found out that Thanagar had been successfully invaded by the Gordanians and that Hro Talak was dead. All because she chose the Earth.

"Come on Shayera I'm taking you home" He said taking a hold of her arm, she tried to wriggle free but he wouldn't let go of her, but proceeded to drag her towards the exit.

Outside it was noticeably quieter and there weren't very many beings out, it seemed that what could be considered as fresh air had hit Shayera and in turn increased the affect of her alcohol consumption. She teetered slightly and John grabbed her and supported her under her arms keeping her standing.

"John" She mumbled trying to push him away "Just leave me here" Her words were slurring still but she looked up at him with a pleading expression that told him she meant what she said.

"I'm not leaving you Shayera; you're coming back with me"

Her eyes shone with un-fallen tears as he looked at her and tried to keep her on her feet, he was more than a little surprised when she slowly put her arms around his neck and pulled herself against his body, tucking her face into his shoulder.

Realising what she wanted he put his arms around her and held her close, even as her body started to tremble against him and his uniform started to soak up moisture as she cried against him.

"It's okay Shayera" He whispered into her hair "I'm taking you home"

"It's my fault they're gone" She managed between sobs.

He didn't answer her, he knew no words could console her...she just wanted some comfort and he was willing to give it to her even though he knew he shouldn't.

Eventually her crying eased and she quietened but didn't let him go, John summoned an energy bubble and started on their journey back to the watchtower, after a while she released him and settled on the floor of the bubble.

"Why did you come and get me?" She asked curling up on the floor and trying to focus the two John's she could see in front of her into one.

"Because you needed me"


	21. Learning

**AN/ Hope you like this one, I think its quite sweet. By the way I was wondering whether I should continue these past 25 drabbles? I'd like to know if you guys would want to keep reading these :)**

**Set after Starcrossed :)**

Learning

She had been reluctant at first, although reluctant was an understatement; however he _had_ gotten there eventually ...with one condition.

"Ouch"

"Sorry" She said sighing "Your feet keep getting in my way"

John shook his head exasperated "My feet are fine; you're not making the right steps"

She trod on his foot again and let out a sound of impatience "That's it! She snapped "This is stupid"

Reaching out John took her hand again and pulled her close resting his other hand on her waist "Shayera, you promised you would learn to dance"

"It's too hard" She pouted however allowing him to return her to their original dancing pose all the same

"It isn't" He stated with absolute patience "Just concentrate on the music and my movements...one, two, three" He began the numerical chant once again and Shayera frowned in concentration unable to stop staring at his feet in her anxiety to not tread on them.

A few more minutes of tuition and she was starting to get the hang of it, John was of course relieved...his toes were starting to hurt.

"So" She started conversationally "You ready to learn Thanagarian?"

John tried to look away but gave up as she glared at him, she did have a hold of his hand and shoulders it wasn't like he could run.

"Yes" He mumbled, he'd heard her speak in her home language a number of times but he was doubtful he could replicate the words.

For the next twenty minutes while they continued to dance, Shayera started coaching him in various words and phrases, correcting him where necessary on mispronunciation. Eventually her head lay against his shoulder as John's tongue fumbled with the heavy syllables of the language.

He mumbled something and Shayera laughed against his neck.

"What did I say?" He asked slightly embarrassed and a little frustrated, this was after all much harder than dancing.

"You said, 'I love you'" She translated still giggling.

"What's so funny about it then?"

She raised her head from his shoulder and looked at him with an amused but affectionate smile.

"Your Thanagarian has an adorable accent"


	22. Takeout

**AN/ This one is Pre-Starcrossed with reference to the episode... :) And thanks for all of the feedback you've all given me, it means a lot and I will be continuing these pieces past the limit of 25. If there is anything in particular you would like to see...please let me know :)**

Takeout

The living room of his apartment looked like a bomb site, an assortment of packaging, boxes, napkins and bags covered the floor with himself and Shayera sat amongst the carnage...the woman in question was moving from box to box with great enthusiasm.

"This is really good" She praised as she shovelled a mouthful of noodles into her mouth.

John smiled as he began eating some egg fried rice, they'd agreed after work to get takeout which Shayera apparently hadn't looked into, before choosing to simply eat whatever the Watchtower stored.

"I'm glad you like it"

She leant across him and he thought, rather hoped that she might treat him to a kiss but she was in actual fact merely reaching for another box of Chinese takeout. As she sat back down she absently grabbed her helmet from where she'd put it down next to her, and tossed it onto the coffee table out of her way.

She pulled a face "I don't like that" She stated shoving the box into his hand without waiting for consent and scanning the floor for something else.

John rolled his eyes putting the box of sweet and sour to one side. A moment later and she had picked up another box and was eyeing the contents with interest.

"What's this?" She asked shaking the box at him.

A grimace moved over his face "Eel heads" He grimaced again watching the grey slimy things move inside the box "I didn't order them...must have been a mistake" He assured her reaching across and attempting to extract the box of vile contents from her.

A playful smirk found a place on her lips as she moved it out of his reach and started pulling the lid off, apparently something he was appalled by was very interesting to her. Impaling one of them with a fork she took a bite and grinned broader.

"This is actually really nice" She said before extending the half eaten delicacy under his nose "Have you ever tried them?"

John leant back slightly "No...And I don't intend to"

"Aw come on" She said with a playful tone "I don't have the lurgy...and if I did" She moved closer to him lowering her voice "I'm pretty sure it's already too late for you"

He sighed "I'm not eating it" he said with firm resolve "It's disgusting"

Shayera waggled the eel head at him on the fork "Could this mean" She started, running her fingertip absently along his broad shoulder before looking up at him slyly "The Lantern is a lightweight?"

"I am not" He argued "I just don't like them that's all"

"Fine" She said sliding into his lap forgetting about the eels as she slipped her hand beneath his jacket "...Prove it"


	23. Hate the Beard

**AN/ The only thing I can say about this is...I had to :p**

Hate the Beard

Shayera Hol didn't waste any time in locating John Stewart in his apartment when she arrived and she called out to him eagerly in order to locate him faster.

"In here" He called out from the bedroom.

Quickly the Thanagarian made her way into the bedroom and inspected his scalp, grabbing him by the jaw and pulling him lower so that she could see. She did this without even offering a greeting.

"Don't mind me will you?" John said sourly.

Shayera grinned "Wally told me you had hair" She said pleased, she hadn't seen him for a week since she had been on an off world assignment.

He thought for a moment before he grimaced "That doesn't mean..."

Yanking him back up she glared at him "You promised"

"Fine" He stated rolling his eyes and with his surrender Shayera grabbed his wrist and dragged him towards the bathroom.

"I've been waiting so long to do this" She said happily as she sat down on the high stool next to the basin and turned the taps on to fill the unit with water.

"So you keep reminding me" John mumbled scratching his chin.

Shayera eyed him with a smirk "Make the most of that" She said pointing towards his gesture as she pulled a can of shaving foam out of the cupboard along with a number of razors.

John glanced at the razors "I think you should let me handle this" He suggested as she started spraying foam on her hands.

"Not a chance, that monstrosity is being dealt with by my hands" She smirked as she lathered the foam on his face ignoring the fact that because of the amount she had applied, he wouldn't be able to comfortably speak...not that she minded.

Grasping a razor and examining it for a moment, she grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him to a more reachable level, carefully and without bottling down her enthusiasm, she made the first stroke on his upper lip.

A grin spread on her face as she rinsed the razor and returned it to his upper lip and continued her work, it took her at least three minutes before she was satisfied. Next she moved to his chin, scraping the razor over the skin and being very careful not to cut him in the process. Soon she was applying more foam and selecting another razor.

Now she carefully shaved the whole area from his ears to his neck and making sure that everything was stubble free.

"There" She declared happily emptying the sink and refilling it with fresh water so that he could rinse his face.

Once rinsed he examined his chin with his hands "You did a good job" He praised slightly amazed by her handiwork.

"You sound surprised"

He was about to reply when she grabbed his jaw again and brought him down so that she could admire her handiwork too. A smile formed as she stroked his face carefully over where the former 'monstrosity' as she had formerly named it, had been.

Looking up she gave him a look of mischief before pulling him into a kiss. When she released him she gave him a grin.

"I really hated that beard"


	24. Green Man

**AN/ I decided that I wanted to try a different part of their relationship, and I really hope you like this one, its probably one of my favourites. **

Green Man

"Mummy!"

Shayera felt something tug on her trousers as she tidied the kitchen, glancing down she found her four year old son yanking on the material demanding her attention. Turning she knelt down so that she matched his level.

"What is it Sweetheart?" She asked softly as she ran a hand through his dark tussled hair.

"When's Daddy coming back?"

Shayera sighed "Soon Rex, he's still at work"

"But he promised he'd watch the film with me"

Looking around Shayera tried to locate the film in question, most nights John would sit with Rex and watch a film with him, usually classic western films.

"Well...why don't you pick a film and we'll watch it together?" She suggested.

Rex shook his head at his Mother "I want to watch it with Daddy"

Shayera lifted Rex up into her arms as she stood up and made her way over to the sofa, sitting down when she reached it and letting Rex sit on her lap, he still had his emerald eyes in that pleading expression that despite her resolve, would often make her crumble.

"You'll have to wait Rex; Daddy won't be back for a while"

His face fell and Shayera saw the disappointment and decided to try and distract him, she reached down the side of the chair and located one of his favourite toys offering it to him as she started speaking.

"You know, Rex...your Daddy is very special" Rex looked up at her with excitement as he took the toy from her in his little hands.

"Daddy's a Green Man isn't he?" He asked happily with pride for his Father.

Shayera smiled fondly "Yes, Daddy is a Green Man...But he is special for other things too"

Carefully she pulled Rex into her arms and settled him down as she brought one of her wings around so that he could grasp the feathers, the texture and softness of them effective at calming him.

"Your Daddy has a big heart, Rex...even when Mummy did something bad and no one liked her...Daddy was always there for her"

Rex was surprised "You did something bad Mummy?" He seemed disbelieving that his Mother could do anything bad.

She smiled sadly "Once..."

"What did you do?" He asked interested as he hugged his little toy.

"It doesn't matter Sweetheart...what matters is that Daddy still wanted to look after Mummy even when she hurt him...and herself very much..."

She was quiet for a moment as she remembered everything that had brought them to this moment; she smiled "Your Daddy is much more than a Green Man, Rex...don't ever forget that..."

Rex looked up at her with sleepy eyes "Did Daddy look after you?"

"Yes he did...and he still does, he looks after both of us" She kissed him lightly on the forehead as he slowly closed his sleepy eyes.

Just as Rex finally relaxed and fell to sleep, Shayera heard the door open and someone enter, she didn't need to turn to know who it was.

"Hey" John greeted her leaning over behind her and brushing her hair out of her eyes as he kissed the top of her head "How's my little guy?"

"He was disappointed that he didn't get to watch a film with you tonight" Shayera explained as John took a seat beside her threading an arm around her shoulders "But you'll have to make sure you watch one tomorrow"

John nodded "I will...and how is my warrior?"

Shayera rested her head on his shoulder, Rex still sleeping soundly in her arms "Fine" She replied quietly "How's my Green Man?"

He chuckled softly as he stroked Rex's hair with his free hand "Fine, it was pretty quiet tonight"

"Good" She whispered feeling tired but relieved that John was okay "Thank-you John"

This caught his attention and he shifted to force her to look up at him "What for?"

"For taking care of me...even after everything..."

John smiled and kissed her softly "You don't need to thank me Shayera; you do that every day just by being here"

After his words she snuggled deeper into his embrace and sighed contented, Rex still sleeping comfortably in her arms and John holding them both.

**AN/ Because Shayera knows there's more to John than a fancy ring :)**


	25. Perfection

Perfection

John Stewart woke to the sound of crying, groggy and still half asleep he rolled over and saw Shayera lying asleep beside him. Another wail descended throughout the apartment and John was up heading towards the nursery. Arriving beside the crib, John reached down and carefully collected the tiny bundle up in his arms and gently shushed him.

"Shh now little guy" He said soothingly "You don't want to wake Mummy up" He smirked as he glanced over his shoulder, making his way to the kitchen "Trust me on this"

The tiny little boy became relatively still in his Father's strong arms, although he was still restless. The fridge door was opened and John retrieved a bottle of milk before moving to warm it up in order to feed his son. Usually Shayera would tend to the night shifts but she'd finally reached the stage where lack of sleep meant she had to accept John's insistence that he help her. Rex became silent as he took his feed and his Father rocked him gently while making his way back towards the bedroom, stopping in the doorway. For a moment he watched Shayera as she slept soundlessly, lying slightly on her stomach, curled up with one arm around the pillow and her wings folded close, she looked so peaceful.

Smiling John carefully slid into bed and leant his back against the headrest as Rex continued to feed, after some minutes the bottle was empty and John placed it on the bedside unit, easily achieving this despite the darkness of the room. Gently Rex was burped and John was thankful that it hadn't been substantial as he didn't want to wake Shayera from her rare peaceful slumber.

Slowly John lowered down until he was slightly lying down, Rex lying on his stomach huddled against his Father's chest, and John knew he wouldn't get back to sleep after his wake up call. In the darkness John gently rubbed Rex's back with one hand while his other brushed the red locks of hair away from Shayera's face, only a quiet mumble emanating from her in return.

Rex yawned laboriously as his Mother stirred, John's gentle stroking of her hair raising her from sleep. She sat up slightly and realised that Rex was lying with John, in that moment she was unable to look away from the both of them, there was just something about them that locked her gaze, filled her with something she couldn't explain.

"Are you okay, Shayera?" John asked softly brushing more hair out of her eyes.

She turned to John and fixated on his deep brown eyes, the ring removed as it always was when they were home together; she smiled softly and took them both in her sights again. Throughout her entire life there wasn't one thing she could say that she was proud of, or something that she could say was worthwhile, the majority of her existence had been filled with conflict, both physical and mental, until this moment. Right now in this moment she felt something...she felt happy, here in the home she shared with John, with the son they shared their lives with...it was perfect.

"Fine" She whispered leaning up and kissing John softly on his temple before stroking Rex's little arm with her fingers "Everything is perfect"

Quietly she rested her head on John's shoulder his arm wrapped around her as he held their son against his chest, who had of course fallen into comfortable sleep. Shayera unfolded her left wing and carefully draped it over the two most important people in her life.

John's hand rubbed Shayera's back gently to sooth her back to sleep, he smiled at her words...everything really was perfect...it had all been worth it, every second of it.


	26. The Other

**AN/ Because its not just about John and Shayera. **

*****Episode References, 'Starcrossed', 'Hunter's Moon', 'Shadow of the Hawk' and ' Ancient History'*****

The Other

Shayera likes Mari, she likes her no nonsense attitude and respects that even though Mari knows things with John might not work out, that she is going to hang on for the ride anyway. Shayera respects her because she is one of the few who doesn't step on eggshells around her over the invasion, doesn't pander to her or concern herself with sugar coating things just to avoid mentioning betrayal. Shayera likes her because she was there for John after his heart was broken and has attempted to fix it when she couldn't.

She likes Mari because she is independent and capable of taking care of herself and has seemed to have adopted the Thanagarian way when it comes to authority...Thanagarians bow down to no one, and neither does Mari.

Despite this, Shayera also hates Mari, she hates her because she has the one thing she wants, she hates her because she sees her make John happy when she can't. Shayera hates herself for liking Mari, knowing that if they were on Thanagar she wouldn't have thought twice about killing her in her sleep so that she could have the man she wanted...it was a regular thing on Thanagar but Earth had its own protocols and deep down Shayera knew she wouldn't hurt anyone simply so that she could get what she wanted.

Deep down Shayera knows she doesn't hate Mari, not really...she just hates herself for hurting John in the first place.

* * *

><p>John likes Carter Hall, he likes him because despite everything he still makes an effort to see Shayera and speak with her, although not in the same devoted sense as before. John likes Carter because Carter is the only person who really understands Thanagarian concepts and he knows that Shayera likes talking to Carter about Thanagarian ways. He likes Carter because he helps Shayera keep going, she often spends the day with him training him in modern Thanagarian battle techniques and strategies and John knows that she enjoys it.<p>

Although John likes Carter...he also hates him, he hates how much Carter Hall reminds him of Hro Talak and the day he lost everything, Shayera had been everything to him. John hates Carter because he reminds him that on two occasions he has been in part responsible for ruining two relationships, and he hates the reminder that he is destined to be with Shayera regardless of free will...even though he knows that he would freely return to her given the right circumstances.

John hates Carter because lately he has become fearful that Shayera just might fall in love with him, that he can no longer assume that she'll be waiting for him once he comes to his senses, he is afraid that she'll grow tired of waiting for the man she really wants and will find comfort with another instead.

John knows that really he doesn't hate Carter...he hates himself for waiting too long to tell her that he loved her...instead letting her fly away into the sunset believing that he didn't.


	27. Changes

**AN/ **

*****Episode References 'Hearts and Minds', 'Wake the Dead' *****

Changes

The apartment was just the same as she remembered, everything was still in the same place, everything was still uncomfortably tidy and it smelt just the same as it always had. Shayera had entered the apartment through a window that John had left unlocked for her so that she could let herself in should she arrive before he did, in the mean time while she was waiting, she decided to take a look around.

By the television remained the stack of DVD's John owned, she flipped through them absently and recognised a number of them from movie nights they used to share before the invasion. A few more boxes down the stack and she came across something that tweaked her heart slightly, she ran her eyes over the box.

'_Old Yeller' _

Sighing quietly she replaced the boxes to their rightful place and continued her meanderings, looking inside the fridge she spotted the familiar tubs of 'Bob and Terry's' Ice cream that they used to share together and she was taken back to happy times between them. Although she recognised that happy times were to come, he had after all...given them a second chance, she hoped that they could finally be what they were meant to be so long ago.

After closing the fridge she moved towards the bedroom, like the combined living room and kitchen it was much the same as she remembered, although her nose picked up a fading fragrance that she recognised uncomfortably as Mari's perfume. Ignoring the lingering scent Shayera moved towards the closet mostly out of curiosity, but she also wondered if he had kept the shirt she used to steal from him on a regular basis, although she doubted it.

Opening the closet she eyed the clothing inside, if she didn't know that she was in John's apartment she might have questioned who lived here...John had never owned any clothing such as these when they had been together before.

Expensive Armani suits and dress shirts, soft cashmere sweaters, Swede jackets, New York loafers with tassels. She eyed them all unsure of what to make of them, before John had always worn simple woollen sweaters and t-shirts as well as the beat up leather jacket he used to wear whenever he went out in civvies...she used to love snuggling against that jacket feeling the worn leather against her skin and smelling its musky scent.

Shayera realised something in that moment as she touched her hands carefully over the various items of clothing. Along with the beard, these items signified how much John had changed, maybe the apartment was the same but he himself was different and she was in large, partly to blame for it. Over the year of her exile the League had kept going without her, time hadn't stopped for everyone else even if it had for her. Everyone was so different...yet, she was the same. The only changes she had experienced were in her heart and mind, and that was simply the gaining of freedom from orders and duty...freedom to be herself, the Shayera Hol that really wasn't so different to Hawkgirl but vastly different to Lieutenant Hol.

"Hey, have you been waiting long?"

John's voice washed over her and she felt the relief of it even if she showed no outward sign.

"No...Not really" She replied softly while closing the closet "I was just looking around, you have some nice suits"

He gave her a smile "Yeah I guess, I don't really wear them much though...only when I used to go to Mari's shows" He replied as he changed out of his uniform and headed for the drawers across the room, they were supposed to be going somewhere quiet to watch the sunset and to spend a little time together now that their relationship was rekindling.

Shayera waited for him to change and she peered out of the blinded window wondering if it was normal to find change so hard to adapt to, not so much her own but other peoples. Somehow she expected John to be just the same as he had been three years ago even if she knew that he wasn't...it reminded her of something she had told him so long ago now.

'_We tend to cling to images of people from when we knew them best, forgetting that they do change'_

A sigh escaped her as she remembered, she wished then that he had understood the full meaning of what she had said, in part she was convincing herself that it was okay that she was changing, that her feelings and emotions were changing.

"You okay?" John asked somewhere behind her.

Slowly she turned around and looked at him, he was wearing simple jeans, boots, a sweater and...His beat up leather jacket.

She smiled "I'm fine, John...just remembering something important"

He pulled her into his arms "Wanna share?"

The sunglasses he wore when he went out in civvies were sat on the side beside her; she reached out and picked them up slipping them onto his face before kissing him softly.

"I'll tell you on the way" She assured him before letting him take her hand and lead her towards the door of the apartment.

She'd always loved sunrises...but she was starting to realise that sunsets were just as important.


	28. Reunited

**AN/ This is a drabble for '_TheHopelessRomantic95' _This is my interpretation of one of the many ways John and Shayera may have gotten back together. I hope that you like it!**

Reunited

Nights were a real issue for her, mostly because more often than not she found that she couldn't get a good night's sleep. Nightmares and dreams would wake her at all hours and shake her to consciousness, reminding her of everything she had lost and everything she couldn't get back.

A knock sounded and she glared at the metal door however choosing to ignore that someone was trying to get her attention.

Whoever it was knocked again and she glanced at the digital clock. One-forty in the morning.

There was a third knock and the Thanagarian woman finally lost what little patience she had.

"What?" She snapped getting up and throwing the sheet off, pacing towards the door and debating on the way whether she should take her mace with her.

The door on her command slid open with a light whoosh and revealed someone rather unexpected.

"John?" She asked surprised "What's going on, is something wrong?"

"C-can I come in?"

She eyed him with curiosity before finally moving to one side to allow him to pass. "What's going on?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"Right," She stated coolly "And it couldn't wait until a more humane time of day?"

He smiled wryly at her comment before seating himself on her bed "It couldn't wait, Shayera."

"Well..." She prompted folding her arms "What is it?"

Time seemed to drift past as John merely sat grasping his hands; silently she glanced at her mace on the wall and wondered if hitting him would get whatever it was out of him faster.

"I haven't been fair to you," He began and glanced up at her briefly before looking away "And for that...I'm sorry."

Shayera tilted her head to one side out of curiosity, he continued before she could reply.

"I don't even know where to begin." John declared hopelessly "All I know is that I love you and no matter what I do, where I go or who I'm with...I can't let you go."

"John..." Shayera started but he cut her off, not ready to hear her words just yet. There was much he felt he needed to say.

"I don't understand how you make me feel, and it terrifies me. It scares me that I've seen the future and we've both seen the past," He paused for breath picking up a stray moulted feather from the sheets "I don't want us to be together because we think we're supposed to be...I want us to be together because we want to be."

Shayera didn't know what to say, her heart started to throb painfully as all of her confusing and conflicting emotions combined into a collective self rendering her speechless lest she start to cry. And she didn't want to do that.

"John, what are you saying?" She managed to say her voice thick and heavy.

He looked up at her the neon green eyes focusing on her; she could feel them scanning her face for any sign of expression.

"Do you want to be with me?" He asked face frowning with a combination of emotions.

"I..." She stumbled "I don't understand why you're asking me this, John. What about Mari?"

"We broke up a week ago." He said softly averting his eyes "It was mostly my fault, I couldn't be the man she wanted me to be."

Shayera moved towards John slowly and crouched down in front of him, taking his hands in both of hers and focusing on them as if there was nothing else in the room.

"I love you John, I have for so long and I don't think I'll ever stop," She paused collecting her thoughts "If there were no future, no destiny...I'd still want to be with you John Stewart..."

John looked up at her with a small smile "Do you think we can try again?"

She nodded slowly "I think we can, on one condition."

"What?" He asked slightly anxious for her conditions.

"No secrets and no lies...I couldn't bare that again."

He smiled broader and carefully encouraged her to let his hands go so that he could wrap them around her and bring her into a hug.

Shayera hugged him in return feeling her anxiety wash away in his strong embrace, but then she thought of something.

"What exactly brought this on?" she asked against his chest.

John smiled "Someone told me to get my act together."

She smiled too and closed her eyes "Remind me to thank Bruce later..."


	29. Glances

Glances

It was her eyes that gave her away, she'd learned that some time ago, and she still couldn't stop giving herself away when he was around.

She'd glance at him from the corner of her eye, a quick flit just to see where he was in the room without looking like she was interested. After a few minutes she'd grow curious and glance again but this time a little longer before catching herself and turning away, all the while wondering if he had noticed. A little longer still and she'd look again only to find that he _had _noticed and was now watching her with interest.

Then she'd frown and turn away, the mask concealing the redness in her cheeks but not the tiny upturn in her lips at the thought that he was watching her too.


	30. Dreamer

Dreamer

He really was beautiful.

She found the notion strange, after all she couldn't remember ever considering a man beautiful before, handsome, strong...perhaps, but never beautiful.

Her eyes analysed his features, raking over the strong contours of his jaw, the lines etched into his skin from worry and anger. A small smile crept across her lips as he murmured quietly, she wondered distantly what he might be dreaming about and wondered if he dreamt about the same things she did.

She dreamt of things she knew she could never have. She dreamt of settling down with the human she had fallen for, the man she had given into and was subsequently destined to betray. She wanted to build a life with this man, spend each and every day with him, she dreamt of having a family with him, building a home...

But she couldn't have any of those things; in reality she couldn't really have him either.

She sighed softly as she crawled over to his end of the sofa, carefully and quietly she nestled beside him, cuddling him and burying her face into his neck, wishing with every inch of her being that her dreams could be a reality.

As she slowly fell to sleep, soothed and warm against his body...she fell into her dreams.


	31. Love the Beard

**AN/ This one was inspired by a conversation with _Centuri Eagle_, because Shayera just might like the Beard more than she claims... ;)**

Love the Beard

"John, it has to go." Shayera said over her shoulder as she busied herself at the pile of DVD's trying to select one for them to watch tonight.

"Shayera...unless you're going to dye your hair...I'm not shaving it off." John replied as he pulled a shirt over his head in his apartment bedroom.

"I'm not dying my hair, I told you." She answered after a small delay.

John smirked to himself, he was testing her and so far it was working, she had made a quip about his beard again and quite frankly he wasn't going to get rid of it, not unless she did something just as radical.

"Then it stays." He replied stepping into the main room, she frowned at him tilting her head to one side.

"So you won't do it for me?"

He laughed at that "Nope..."

Despite his answer she smiled, it was a smile that he recognised; it was the smile she adopted when she had received an answer she liked.

"Good." She walked over to him a box in one hand containing the movie "Because I'd be very disappointed if you let me change any of you...very disappointed." She emphasised smiling softly.

"Good thing you aren't disappointed then." He replied taking the movie box from her hands in order to see what it was they'd be watching, although he rolled his eyes noticing that they'd be watching something with a lot of violence involved. Typical Shayera.

"Sure about this?" He asked gesturing to the film.

Shayera apparently hadn't heard him, either that or she just wasn't paying attention; instead she leant against him and touched his goatee with her finger.

"You know...it does make you look very handsome." Her finger moved over his chin slowly before tracing his moustache

"I'm glad you approve." John replied softly.

She smirked amused "Not that you care." Closing the distance slightly she kissed him gently.

"That's not very fair." He kissed her in return forgetting about the film they were supposed to be watching, typical how she managed to distract him "I do care."

He felt the smile against his lips at his words and her arms found their way around his neck.

So much for the movie.


	32. Masks

**This one is sort of related to 'Almost'. Anyway I hope you like it. **

Masks

She'd worn a mask all of her life, at one point or another.

When she was a young warrior in training, she masked the need to see her parents, the want for their praise, the want for them to see how well she was doing. Eventually she realised they never would, they were busy fighting in the war while she was busy being trained for it.

_She stopped wearing that mask when she had found out that they had been killed in battle. _

As a young officer she masked her emotions, the uncertainty that she could perform her job in the way that was expected of her. She concealed the fear that when it came to battle that she just might hesitate, that training and the real thing wouldn't blur together and she wouldn't be able to kill.

_She stopped wearing that mask when she killed the Gordanian that had murdered her friend. _

As a Lieutenant she masked her reaction when she was told by the Thanagarian Elders that she would be sent on an espionage mission into deep space. The mask concealed her anxiety at leaving Thanagar and her newly promised one.

_She stopped wearing that mask when she joined the Justice League and found something she'd never had before...family._

As Hawkgirl of the Justice League she concealed her growing inner turmoil over her duality. Her conflict was perfectly concealed from all members even though sometimes she wished someone would notice, would spot a tiny mistake and reprimand her before any damage could be done.

_She stopped wearing that mask when the Thanagarians landed in the square._

As Hawkgirl she wore the mask of Hawkgirl, she concealed her true self that was buried somewhere within, she concealed her emotions and her desires, she concealed Shayera Hol.

_She stopped wearing that mask when John Stewart took it away. _

As the Lieutenant of the Thanagarian army that occupied Earth, she wore a mask to conceal her anguish over her friends capture; she concealed her true emotions over the human man John Stewart. Not even Hro could quite see her betrayal.

_But that mask fell when she discovered what they were doing, it was truly gone when they stripped her of her helmet and as her hands aided his in pressing the shield down. _

As an exile she no longer wore a mask, instead her mask was truly a facade of the eyes and outward behaviour. Although she had no one to hide from emotionally, just physically as the world hunted her, but even as the Fates sheltered her she concealed her warrior instincts to end her life in just one more battle.

_That mask was removed when she saw him for the first time in a year; she knew she couldn't leave him even as she was forced to kill her friend in an act of mercy._

As Shayera she continued to wear a mask, she withdrew to her quarters and remained there as long as was possible. She forcibly concealed her want to run when people sent her glares and stray comments, they didn't understand that she had even betrayed herself too.

_That mask still stays._

As Shayera Hol she watches the human man she fell in love with, a love she had never experienced before and a love she knew would never fade. She was convinced of its realness, of its clarity because every time she saw him with her, it pained her more than any other thing in her life. But she hides the pain behind another mask.

_That mask still remains even as he tells her of the son they might not have, of a life together they might not have._

As Shayera, as a founding member, as an atoner on the path to redemption without an end, as someone who is seen as more than a traitor...she stands looking out of the observation window, just watching. She feels his presence before he even reaches her, but that is what happens when you are as in tune and as sensitive to one person and their actions as she is with him.

_She masks her anxiety and the mild excitement that flickers through her before she can control it._

He takes her hand without speaking and turns her to face him, he looks at her in a way she hasn't seen for a long time and she knows that something important is going to happen.

"Shayera...I need to talk to you."

_She looks at him and the masks fall away, the traitor, the annihilator of her people, the masks that conceal her love for the man in front of her fall away as he stares intently at her._

She shrugs at him and smiles "I love you John...what's to talk about?"

He smiles at her and pulls her into his arms.

_The final mask falls away, a mask that had been in use for so long even before she joined the league, and it finally leaves her. _

_The mask that protected the hurt and pained woman buried deep inside beneath the warrior, beneath the soldier, beneath the traitor. _

_Only John Stewart can reveal her._


	33. Soaked

**AN/ Pre-Starcrossed timeline with a little Batman for good measure ;)**

Soaked

This was the last time she offered to switch monitor duty with Batman. She'd agreed on a rare moment of contentment to switch her duty with Batman's and take his patrol for him instead...what a mistake that turned out to be.

Standing on the corner of a dreary looking building in an almost drearier looking street, Hawkgirl remained perched chin tilted allowing her to imitate her namesake, something she generally wasn't aware of, but Flash made many a comment about it when she wasn't looking. Despite the drab location it might not have been so bad were it not raining, currently she was sure the amount of water should have drowned the damn town by now.

"_Progress report."_ She heard Batman's quietly triumphant voice emit into her ear.

Frowning annoyed she pressed her finger in her ear "Go to hell."

"_Already there..."_ Batman said and she could have sworn she heard the smirk in his voice "_Progress Report."_

She sighed and shook her wings momentarily trying to dry them to very little avail. "It's quiet, nothing out of the ordinary," She paused thinking how a nice fight would cheer her up "And it's pouring down out here, I'm soaked."

"_If nothing else happens in twenty minutes, then head home."_

"You're so kind," She drawled "But next time you can swap with someone else."

"_Watchtower out."_ She narrowed her eyes; she could definitely hear the smirk.

Peering down towards the street she willed the time away hoping the rain would stop soon, even if she could leave in twenty minutes, she wasn't going to be able to fly with her feathers as wet as they were.

"Damn him." She muttered realising she might have to stay here all night anyway.

"Damn who?"

She tilted her head slightly so that she could see past one of her wet wings, any other time and she might have offered him a smile.

"Shouldn't you be home, Lantern?" She asked dryly "You have monitor duty tomorrow morning."

He approached her and gave her a warm smile "Yeah, but Bats told me I should probably get you home...I pointed out you can't fly long in the rain."

Looking at him she tried to un-blur her eyes from the rain water by blinking, she thought for a moment that she might have seemed disbelieving. She was a little surprised that he knew how much trouble the rain was for her.

"I'm fine." She stated trying to get rid of him. All the same...he was trouble too, but in a different way.

"Sure you are," He said with a smile "But...even if you are fine, it's an Earth custom that the man takes the lady home."

"The Lady," She started sounding a little irritable "Doesn't need an escort."

There was a glimmer in his eyes that made her curious for a moment.

"You don't have to be the thick headed warrior around me Hawkgirl," He leaned close and concealed his amusement at her obviously shocked expression "Now, where do you want me to drop you off?"

"The Watchtower..." She said slowly before adding "Thank-you Lantern."

"You can call me John you know."

She smiled a little as he ringed a bubble around them; maybe swapping with Batman wasn't such a bad idea.


	34. Normal

Normal

The Watchtower had taken a beating, the satellite itself powered by backup generators and emergency systems as it barely remained in orbit. Over half a dozen Leaguers remained inside of it as the rest of their number were stationed within the Metro Tower, busy clearing up after another gruelling battle against undeniable odds.

They'd all known that Darkseid's invasion wouldn't be the last challenge to conquer but even with their expanded number, the battles seemed to be getting harder, the villains of the world taking a leaf out of their book and banding together.

The founders remained in the satellite, overseeing repairs and ensuring that those that had fought within its walls were either okay or seeking any medical treatment that was necessary. Along one of the halls a number of Leaguers were merely standing around, some holding up fellow team mates and others staring seemingly into space.

Amongst them were John and Shayera, they were not conversing, nor were they distancing themselves from one another, they were simply holding each other. Shayera nestled against his chest with her arms around his waist, John holding her shoulders and back, head lowered against her hair and as Wally approached he thought that it was the most normal thing in the world.

**AN/ I've been thinking more on the JLU couple drabbles I promised, and I was wondering if anyone had any specific requests. I know you've got Question/Huntress and Arrow/Canary but I also wondered if there were any maybe non-canon couples people would be interested to see? Drop me a PM if you do :) Thanks. **


	35. Fairytale

Fairytale

Reading was what she did; she read untold numbers of books and articles. History books, fact, fiction, religious texts, compilations and encyclopaedias, it was something she had always done for as long as she can remember being on this planet.

Wally bought her a book once, she didn't own it any more as that had been during her Hawkgirl days but she remembered shrugging the gift off and setting it on her desk in her quarters without touching it. Now as she held a copy of the exact same book in her hands, she turned the pages slowly and read every word taking it all in.

When she finished she wondered why she hadn't read it before, fairytales gave a large contribution to the cultures of Earth and she had found them at the very least interesting.

As she looked up and saw John enter the canteen with Vixen, she closed the book and set it down remembering why she hadn't read it before.

Her life wasn't a fairytale awaiting its happy ending.

There was no knight in shining armour ready to scoop her up and carry her away into the sunset.


	36. Understanding

Understanding

Sitting in the corner of the cafeteria reading wasn't exactly perfect, but regardless she found herself seated there and quietly reading while other Leaguers chatted and laughed. It was the only way she could be alone amongst people, this way she felt like she at least had life around her.

To her surprise someone sat down in the seat opposite her and she carefully withdrew her eyes from the pages she had been burying herself within. Looking up she concealed her startle as she looked into the brown eyes of John Stewart.

Peering at him she noted that along with his brown eyes, he was also not in uniform...at least his Lantern Corps uniform, instead he wore his Marine Core uniform. She'd be lying if she said she didn't find him...appealing in it.

Slowly she closed the book not much bothering to mark her page.

"What's this about?" She asked gesturing to his uniform.

He let out a sigh before grasping his hands obviously not sure what to do with them.

"I...went to a funeral today," He paused taking a breath and she listened, waiting "One of my old friends from the Marines."

"I'm sorry." She said automatically although sincere.

John nodded "Is it okay if I talk to you? One soldier to another?"

She paused in thought obviously thinking, it was a delicate subject for both of them and she wasn't sure she was comfortable with him mentioning it, but looking into his warm brown eyes seemed to make the decision for her.

"Of course you can." She replied pushing the book aside.

He smiled tiredly "Thanks...it's just, Mari doesn't really understand."


	37. Sweet Dreams

Sweet dreams

Sometimes if she concentrated hard enough she could pretend that he lay next to her, but more often than not she'd open her eyes after her futile attempts and see the empty space in the bed beside her. Her eyes would linger over the space and her hand would touch the cold sheets feeling the absence of warmth and comfort. Here just like everywhere else, she couldn't escape her loneliness, so overwhelming and suffocating that her breath would hitch and just for a moment she would forget to breathe.

Then just like every night that preceded it, she'd turn over and face the other side closing her eyes and trying to remember the only time she had ever had sweet dreams.


	38. Stargazing

**AN/ Set Pre-starcrossed and is actually an official drabble as it is exactly 100 words long :)**

Stargazing

He isn't sure how far they flew together, but he knows that where they are no one will disturb them. The park is empty save for them, lying together side by side on the cool green grass and he looks to her seeing that she has removed her helmet for the time being.

Shifting onto his side he brushes some hair from her face with a gloved hand, but she doesn't drag her eyes away from the starry night sky above them.

"Are you looking for Thanagar?" He asks.

"I used to," She says softly "But not so much now."


	39. Fan Mail

**AN/ I wasn't sure about this one but I liked the idea of it :) **

**Light reference to 'Legends'**

Fan mail

It had become a tradition among the founders that on one day a week they would spend the morning sorting through their fan mail, reading them, replying to them. Clark insisted that it would be a great morale boost as well as a way to improve relations between them and the rest of the world.

John sat in one of the empty recreational rooms with a sack of fan mail, although he wouldn't admit it out loud he enjoyed going through the letters and reading about young kids that wanted to save people too. Going through each letter he wrote a reply, always ensuring that he didn't recycle his words and that each reply was individual. He hoped that maybe he could be a positive influence on them just as the Green Guardsman was for him.

As he wrote he heard the door open and saw Shayera enter the room, she looked dejected as she dropped down on the couch beside him.

"Hey." He greeted her although not looking up from his letter.

"Hey, yourself."

He managed a slight smile "Great way to spend the morning." He said cheerily, he genuinely looked forward to such mornings.

"I guess," She said dryly "I don't have to join in though."

John looked up and watched her pick up a drawing of himself a little boy had sent him, all drawn out with crayons and squiggles.

"Batman I understand...but what's your excuse?" John asked surprised that Shayera didn't want to join in.

Without taking her eyes off of the drawing she answered him "I don't get fan mail," She stated simply "The mail I do get...Clark doesn't let me see it."

"Oh..." John felt like an idiot, he should have known better.

She looked up at him for a moment with a strange brightness in her eyes as she gestured towards the drawing she had been looking at.

"Can I keep this?"

John smiled "Of course you can."

Shayera smiled in return and put the picture to one side before picking up one of his letters and reading it. She spent the rest of the morning with him helping him answer all of his letters.


	40. Lost and Found

**AN/ The forty mark! I just want to say a huge thanks to everyone who has enjoyed reading these and has given me such kind reviews :) I wanted to do something special but couldn't settle on an idea, instead I decided to do a small continuation of a previous drabble called 'Soul Bound'. I was considering making this a oneshot but couldn't get it to work the way I wanted...so I present this to you instead. I do hope that you like it :)**

*****Episode Reference 'Ancient History'*****

"_Do you think...that we'll see each other again...in the future?"_

_John is quiet for a long moment and she panics, a lump forming in her throat as she thinks it's too late, but relief washes over her as he breaks the deafening silence._

"_I think so...we'll meet again...I'll find you"_

_The grip on his hand tightens and he squeezes back reassuringly with the strength that he has left._

"_I love you Shayera...and I will in the next life too"_

Extract from 'Soul Bound.'

Lost and Found

In a technologically thriving world there are two people sleeping in a simple apartment, the owner not fond of allowing technology to do things for her, but instead choosing to use 'retro' facilities.

Both of the occupants fell to sleep some time ago, their relationship is new and testing, they are getting to know each other for the first time but both of them are aware of a strange familiarity. The dark skinned man shifts and slips an arm around the red-headed woman's waist, before grunting in his sleep from a twinge of pain.

He is an architect…an ex-soldier with an old injury.

She is an ancient weapons specialist at Midway Museum.

In response to his gentle cuddling of her, she lets out a soft contented sigh and snuggles deeper against him and into the warmth he provides. She is dreaming. In her dream she can fly on large grey wings and the man sleeping beside her is flying too surrounded by green light, and she murmurs the man's name even though it is not the same as the man sleeping beside her.

"…John."

In the quiet of the room he responds to her sleepily taking a breath full of her scent as he sighs.

"Chayera…"

The name he whispers is the same as the one in her dream belonging to her, but although she dreams of a Green Lantern and a disgraced Thanagarian…he dreams of an Ancient Egyptian Goddess and a brave General.


	41. Whisper

**AN/ I was almost going to end this series as forty chapters but I received some much needed encouragement and am continuing onwards :D**

**This is set before Starcrossed with mild reference to 'Wild Cards.' **

Whisper

Every precious moment between them had been a whisper, a passing moment that was easily misheard, misunderstood or missed altogether, but both of them in time had learnt the subtleties of their whispered communication.

The whisper that echoed between them as their eyes met, shielded masked eyes meeting glowing green embers. One set being averted before the other party could even begin to discern the context of the glance, the meaning behind it.

When he sat alone in the Watchtower, watching the stars as was habit for each of them, he'd feel the whisper of her presence as she passed by. The gentle clink of her mace against her leg, the rustle of soft feathers, slow steady breathing, all joining into a quiet melody that only he paid attention to.

Sometimes they would mishear the gentle sound that travelled across their skin when hands briefly met, brushing against each other in a fleeting moment as he passed her something. A soft whisper of endearment as the unplanned touch lingered longer than necessary; both wanting to understand the silent conversation that was raging between them.

On occasions this inaudible communication was thunderous, storming to the point where one of them almost began the conversation audibly but backed down at the last minute as another whisper drifted by, misunderstood by the listeners and ignored altogether.

Eventually the whispers grew; eventually he pressed the conversation, swallowing hard as his newly beating heart forced him to acknowledge the quiet dance.

And now she feels the whisper of his lips against her skin, breathing adulation, consuming her as if he were shouting, but soothing her as if he were singing a long forgotten melody. He in turn feels her whisper against his ears, soft Thanagarian words he doesn't understand but he doesn't need to, the words imbuing into his existence and he drowns in them, in her.

Everything precious between them is conducted as a whisper, just enough for them to hear and very rarely they are misheard or misunderstood, very rarely has a whisper ever been so treasured.


	42. Kick

**An/ Here's another drabble, I've been meaning to explore more of this phase in their relationship for a while now :)**

Kick

Shayera had decided that being heavily pregnant really had a lot of downsides. For one she wasn't allowed to work, neither J'onn, John or the other founders would allow it so instead she was stuck in John's apartment. Aside from that her back and wings were aching and it was impossible to get comfortable. Flying was out of the question as well.

Struggling to get up out of the couch she blew a sigh out of her nose disturbing the locks of hair that often inhabited her face. She needed something to do otherwise she was going to go crazy. So with new determination she waddled over to the sink where the day's dishes resided. John had insisted that she leave them alone and normally she would anyway but she was desperate to shift the boredom that reminded her of how small this apartment actually was.

Five minutes later her hands were soapy and wet and she'd managed to break a plate which made her even more irritable than she had been stuck on the couch. Behind her she heard the door click and knew that John had gotten home from his shift at the Metro Tower, she didn't even get a _'hello'_.

"Shayera! I told you to rest!" He was fussing over her in an instant, rushing over to her and discovering the broken plate in the process. It wasn't like she could bend down and pick it up...that would take forever.

"I'm fine." She stated rolling her eyes "I just wanted something to do."

John bent down and started sweeping up the broken remains with a green dustpan and brush construct.

"You could have taken a nap." He said obviously distressed by her on her feet trying to do chores.

"I'm fed up with napping!" Shayera snapped.

The Green Lantern kneeling by her feet paused for a moment. Shayera's mood swings had become common place over the course of her pregnancy and he had learned to stay calm.

"Okay, Shayera. But you really do need to rest."

"I'm fine." She repeated putting her hands back in the soapy water "I'm pregnant not – Ouch!"

John's dustpan construct disappeared as quickly as his head shot up, the broken fragments of plate clattering back to the floor.

"What is it, Shayera?" He demanded voice full of panic as he shuffled towards her on the floor "What's wrong?"

Without answering Shayera grabbed one of his gloved hands and pulled her own shirt up with her other soapy hand. John was bewildered as she placed his hand against her swollen stomach and held it there while she looked into his eyes and apparently waited.

And then he felt it, a strong kick against his hand and Shayera's eyes lit up as he looked at her stomach in awe, a grin forming on his own lips.

"Hey!" He exclaimed amused "Looks like his going to be as strong as his Mother."

Shayera smiled widely as she kept his hand on her stomach, their unborn son continuing to kick every few moments. After a minute the bumps against his hand ceased and John moved his hand away but caressed her stomach lightly before planting an affectionate kiss and getting up.

"Now, are you going to get some rest?" He watched her roll her eyes again and glare at him "I mean it Shayera, you need to be careful."

"...Fine." She muttered under her breath and threw the dish towel at him "You can take care of this crap then."

John laughed as she stalked off towards the couch "And hurry up!" She called over her shoulder "My wings hurt again."


	43. Test

**An/ This has to be one of my new favourites ;) Its a little longer than usual but I couldn't find a clear way to break it down. **

**Anyway I hope you like. Set after 'Destroyer' ***Episode References 'Starcrossed' and 'Ancient History'*** Light reference to 'Eskimo Kiss.'**

Test

This was unexpected...well, it was and it wasn't.

Shayera slowly sat down on the closed toilet seat and leant forward resting her forehead on her palm while she clutched something small in her other hand and squeezed her eyes shut in thought and anxiety.

What was she going to do?

What was she going to tell John?

For a few days now she hadn't been feeling a hundred percent, she'd explained it off as lack of sleep and restless nights but those excuses weren't fitting anymore and even she was starting to doubt them. Opening her eyes a crack she looked at the item in her hand but looked away again, it wasn't telling her anything yet. However her eyes became wide when she heard the front door and instinctively she reached out and slid the lock on the bathroom door, she wasn't ready yet...not for this.

He wouldn't want this.

They weren't ready for this.

Shayera let out a breath as silence returned to her quarters; maybe John had just dropped by and decided that she wasn't there. A knock at the bathroom door confirmed otherwise, especially once his deep voice emanated through the steel.

"Shayera? Are you in there?"

Maybe she could just stay quiet.

"Shayera?"

The worried tone in his voice triggered a reaction out of her and she cursed herself immediately after.

"I – I'm fine."

"Are you okay in there?"

"...Yes." She lied.

Apparently her lie was obvious as she heard the lock snap from being forced open, the culprit an emerald green, ring construct. Before she could get up John was already inside and was clearly surprised to see her in her position on the seat, more surprised when he saw what was in her hand.

"Shayera...what's going on?"

Shayera looked up into his face before looking down at the pregnancy test clutched tightly in her hands.

"I...I don't know." She honestly didn't know what to say.

John unexpectedly took a seat on a stool nearby, perching on it and leaning forward to look at her; it always irritated him when she wouldn't look at him.

"That's a pregnancy test." He pointed at it as if she was unaware of the stick in her fist and the life changing powers it held; somehow she felt she'd rather be beating villains into a stupor right now.

"No kidding." She managed to snort.

"Why didn't you tell me?" John asked sounding more hurt than angry; Shayera didn't know which she'd prefer.

"I don't know if I am yet," She confessed while glancing back at the test before looking away and towards the broken lock of the door "I...I know it isn't what you want."

His eyebrows lifted suddenly before coming back down and knotting into a frown "When did I say anything like that?"

"You don't want to be destiny's puppet..." Shayera elaborated slowly, they'd only been back together a few months "I'm sorry."

The Green Lantern arched his eyebrows again before leaning further forward and taking her free hand into his, running his thumb over her knuckles.

"I said I didn't want to be destiny's puppet, but I never said that it wasn't the destiny I wanted." He paused looking at her for a long time "I just wanted us to make those choices naturally, not just because someone told us that that's what we were supposed to do."

Shayera nodded slowly "John, I'm scared." She whispered quietly, gripping his hand tighter.

"Talk to me Shayera, please."

She swallowed over the lump in her throat, she wasn't sure she was ready to talk about this yet.

"I'm a traitor John...there's no real place for me here." Her voice shook as she continued "What kind of person would I be bringing a child into a world where they'll be persecuted for my crimes? Will they grow up to resent me? To hate me?"

In an instant John was off of the stool and kneeling down in front of her, Shayera looking down at him with teary eyes. He reached up and wiped her damp cheeks before touching his nose to her face softly.

"There is a place for you here Shayera." He gestured to himself, pointing at his chest "What you did wasn't a crime; you saved this planet at the cost of your own...that isn't a crime. If anything that has happened in the past stops us from being happy, then that Shayera is a crime."

He gave her a small smile "We have just as much right to be happy as anyone."

"Would it make you happy, John?"

"It would make me the happiest man alive Shayera. I want us to have a family; I want you to be happy."

Slowly Shayera unfurled her fingers around the pregnancy test and looked down at it as John continued to look into her face.

"Well," She began as she looked down at it "It looks like we're going to be a family."

Shayera smiled as John grinned at her and looked at the test himself. "I'm going to be a Dad?"

She laughed then as she threw her arms around him; John already prepared to encircle her with his own.

"Yes!" She exclaimed finally feeling the tension from her shoulders drop and a warm welcome relief and giddiness wash over her "Yes, you're going to be a Daddy!"

**AN/ Really starting to enjoy writing about this part of their life...I'm almost debating another drabble series purely dedicated to their small family unit. What would you guys say to that? :)**


	44. Birthday

Birthday

Thanagarians didn't celebrate anything like a birthday, there was no time to and it seemed absurd in a culture where most of them didn't live very long. Despite this during her time on Earth Shayera had with some insistence from John, treated the day she first arrived on the planet as her Birthday. At the time it was easy to assume that John had just wanted another reason to do something special that was unnecessary. Not that she had minded.

Today, seven years since she first arrived here; it was her 'Birthday'. A lot had happened since those first years, a lot had changed and she had gained and lost during their passing.

While she traipsed down another bland corridor on the way to her isolated quarters, her body sore and her mind erratic after a recent battle; Shayera wondered why she was still bothering to remember her Earth Birthday.

It wasn't like anyone knew about it or would recognise it.

Sighing thickly she at last reached her quarters, she was eager to shower and nestle herself into her bed to sleep for an eternity. It was with these thoughts in mind that she noticed a package at the base of her door. Picking it up she glanced over the dark coloured wrapping paper and attached envelope before clumsily opening her door and stepping inside. In the solitude of her room she fumbled with the paper and removed it to reveal an emerald green teddy bear. Eyebrows raised and the bear still clutched in one hand, Shayera opened the envelope and pulled out a card with stars dotted over it and read the writing within.

_Just a little something. Happy Birthday, Shayera._

_John._

In that moment a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth and she hugged the bear tighter.

"Thanks, John."


	45. Confessional

**AN/ This drabble is going to be a couple of parts long, otherwise it would have been at oneshot length. I think this one deals with something quite important and I hope you guys like it :)**

Confessional

As John entered the apartment with his eleven year old son, he dropped his car keys onto the side unit and rubbed his bearded chin in contemplation. Rex appeared behind him and kept his eyes downcast while he awaited his Father's orders.

"Go and wait in your room Rex, until your Mother comes home."

Nodding, Rex marched to his room and closed the door.

Moving mechanically around the living room, John started tidying around while he waited for Shayera to arrive, she wouldn't be much longer. He was dreading her return today. Minutes after he set the coffee machine a blue transport beam filled the room and disappeared, leaving Shayera, mace in hand and with a bright smile, she always looked forward to going home.

"Hey." She greeted him brightly.

John nodded but didn't greet her in return, there were more pressing matters and he knew she wouldn't take this well. As perceptive as she was she picked up on his vibes quickly and frowned taking an instinctive step towards him.

"What's happened? Where's Rex?"

"Rex is in his room." John said gesturing over his shoulder "But something happened at school."

"What?" She approached him again obviously stressed by the notion that something bad might have happened, already she was hefting her mace defensively.

"He punched a boy out at school," He paused swallowing knowing that she'd want to know why lest she go in Rex's room and yell at him for being irresponsible. He was stronger than the average young boy. "They were talking about the League as kids do. One of the boys mentioned 'Hawkgirl' and said a few...bad things."

"...Oh." Shayera lowered her mace and John suddenly saw the heartbreaking sadness he thought they had vanquished return to her eyes.

John tried to lighten the mood but knew that it wouldn't satisfy "You are his Mother and he is his Mother's son."

She nodded slowly and her eyes weren't really focused on anything "Do they know I'm his Mother?"

"No," He shook his head "No, they don't know who his parents are...I picked him up in the car."

They were quiet for a long time before John decided to press the issue that was weighing on him.

"Shayera, he needs to know. He wants to know why people are judgemental of you."

"Did you tell him?" She asked quietly.

"No." John assured her "It isn't my place, only you can tell him what happened and why it happened."

She didn't say anything for a long time and John reached out and brushed a bang behind her ear "He'll understand Shayera." He glanced at her mace and took hold of it, removing it from her hands "I'll put this away, he needs to see his Mum...not Hawkgirl."

Before he left he planted a supportive kiss on her forehead and walked to their bedroom, closing the door to give Shayera and his son the privacy they would need for their talk. As he put her mace on its fixture on the wall he heard Shayera call for Rex.


	46. Confessional II

Confessional II

Shayera leant her head back and rested it against the back of the sofa, staring up at the ceiling and letting a shaky breath out. The last hour had been one of the longest and hardest hours in her life. Over the course of the last sixty minutes and perhaps longer because she wasn't sure; she had explained and described everything that had happened before the League became what it was today.

_Everything._

From her life on Thanagar as a soldier in the Thanagarian espionage wing, to her time in the League as a spy, to her ultimate betrayal...first of her family, of Earth and finally her people. Rex all the while listened carefully and didn't look at her except to ask a question which she answered with every inch of honesty she possessed, he was mature for his age and she knew that he could understand all of the answers.

As time had gone on and she explained her betrayals, the 'When's' and the 'Why's', she saw something in his green eyes that she had often seen reflected in her own. At the time she pressed it down, swallowing hard and continuing her explanation, the reason why very few people had much to offer her except contempt.

When finished at last and feeling emotionally drained, having told her son some details that she hadn't even shared with John; Rex simply stood up and walked away towards his room, never looking back and never speaking until his door snapped shut and she was left alone.

'_My son hates me...'_

Shutting her eyes for a moment she steadied her breathing again as she felt the lump in her throat match the shards of pain in her heart. A selfish part of her leapt up and resented that her life was always so full of heart ache but she pushed that back down with everything else even as her eyes welled with tears. In the distance she heard a door open, it didn't matter which one but she realised it was John as she felt him sit down beside her.

He took one of her hands into his and he twisted in his seat to see her.

"How did it go?"

Lifting her head from the back of the couch she watched as John's expression changed as he noticed her tears, his other hand coming up quickly to remove their existence as if he was taking the hurt away with them.

"He's ashamed of me." She whispered hoarsely.

John seemed to disagree "Shayera, he can't understand –."

"He understands enough!" Shayera snapped suddenly before lowering her voice to a whisper "I'm sorry, I...I didn't mean to..."

"Shhh, its okay Shayera." John soothed her gently pulling her into his arms and pressing her against his chest protectively "It's okay...he'll come around."

"You don't choose your parents." Shayera mumbled against his shirt that was quickly soaking up moisture "He doesn't have to forgive me just because I'm his Mother."

"Maybe not, but he will...because he is his Father's son."


	47. Confessional III

Confessional III

Rex Stewart sat down on the edge of his bed and stared at the door he had just closed, his Mum was somewhere on the other side. A part of him wanted to go back in there and tell her it was okay, that he understood, but right now at this very moment, he couldn't.

He didn't know what to think or feel about the things she had told him, about the things she had done even though he'd always known that there was a dark part of her life that she didn't talk about. Rex had always been curious but now he was regretting all of the thoughts and childish ideas he had put to the unspoken part of her life, as a child having imagined she had been a secret agent or something just as fantastic. He realised now he hadn't been so far from the truth.

Standing up he almost went to the door, he wanted to go and find his Dad and ask him how he felt about it, how he had felt at the time when he had learned of his Mother's secrets, but instead he heard his parent's quiet and hushed conversation.

"_How can I expect him to believe anything I've ever told him?"_

"_Why would he think you are lying?" He heard his Father ask incredulously._

"_John...I was being dishonest for over five years of my life, he knows that now...he doesn't trust me."_

Rex lowered his eyes to the floor before moving back to his bed and reseating himself. It was true, he had doubted her honesty but he hadn't stopped trusting her, she was his Mum and she had always been there for him and his Dad.

And he still didn't regret punching that kid...

Sighing, Rex raked his hand through his dark hair and fixated on a point on the floor of his room as he tried to work out what it was that was bothering him so. He understood now why when he had been young and had asked about going to Thanagar to see the world she had come from, her eyes would darken and the subject would be changed. There was no world for her to take him too, no heritage to show him except her exile.

Perhaps what bothered him was that he was here. He was here because she was, and Earth was here because she was, the Thanagarians were gone because she chose this planet over them. Was his life the price of a whole planet full of people? Were their lives lost so that he could live?

He was here because they weren't.

He was here because she wouldn't let them destroy his Father's world.

Rex thought on this a little harder, rearranging and contemplating until he realised that he wasn't here because his Mother betrayed her people...he was here because she wouldn't sacrifice innocent people, he was here because she loved enough to turn her back on her whole world even after losing any hope of a new one.

Could he be ashamed of that? Could he be ashamed of her when she fought everyday to keep this world safe? To keep he and his Father safe?

Getting up Rex walked to the door of his bedroom and opened it, instantly he saw his Dad look over the couch and give him a small smile. Rex smiled back before approaching and moving around the chair so that he could see his Mum tucked in Dad's arms.

"...M-mum?"

She shifted out of his Dad's hold and looked at him with sad eyes, the same eyes he always saw when she rarely told him Thanagarian stories and fables, when she used to sing him lullabies in her home language or teach him to speak it.

"I'm sorry, Rex." She said softly.

"I'm...I'm sorry too Mum." Rex replied before stepping forward again and hugging her.

He felt her squeeze him tightly and one of her wings curl around them and he knew at that moment that he would proudly follow in her footsteps, because she had sacrificed everything just so that he could live.

_End_

**AN/ I hope you have enjoyed this little three parter. I know Rex might seem a little mature for his age but I put that down to him being part Thanagarian :)**


	48. Adjustments

**An/ Just a quick note that updates to 'Advocacy' could take quite some time, I need to sit down and figure out a few things with it and readjust some of the story because certain things aren't working out the way I want them to. So until I get the story going the way I want, I'm afraid there might not be any updates for a while :( I do however have a John/Shayera story in the works at the moment which I'll hopefully begin writing soon. **

**For the time being though, I offer you drabbles. This one is set after 'Destroyer' and nods to a few other things I've written.**

**I hope you like it :D**

Adjustments

Really if he was honest he hadn't expected them just to slip right back into being how they had been years ago, but as he looked at her across the table his heart sank with just how _much_ they couldn't go back. Her eyes were the worst thing, he'd look up into them and he wouldn't see the fiery tempest in them, the passion or life, instead he saw pain and sadness.

"How is your dinner?" He asked trying to break the harrowing silence between them.

She looked up briefly and tried to smile but didn't quite succeed "It's lovely...thank-you."

Part of him didn't really believe her.

The more he thought about what they were doing the more he realised how unlike them it was, sitting here in his apartment with a table between them, candles, wine, dinner, it was all so _formal_. Maybe it was the two years he had spent with Mari, a slow reprogramming in his mind to do dinners and lavish nights out, but it wasn't really him and it wasn't really Shayera either.

He could see she wasn't comfortable, and maybe the dinner wasn't the only reason why. Quietly he sighed and placed his fork on his plate with a gentle clink. Pushing his chair out he stood up and moved towards her, she looked up apologetically as if she felt she had done something wrong but he ignored it, instead he reached down towards her with his hand.

For a few silent seconds she stared at his hand before she finally, gingerly reached out and grasped it, hardly gripping his hand at all as he eased her up from the chair and guided her to a clear area of the apartment. There was gentle music playing somewhere, a stereo he had switched on before she had arrived here and he brought her into his arms eager to rid the notion of something between them, the table had been a really bad decision. There had always been something between them he thought as he gently guided her in slow circles, the invasion, Hro Talak, guilt, Mari, Carter...the list went on and was practically endless but he was tired of them all.

He nudged her toes with his until she laid her feet slightly on top of his, just enough to bring them closer, just enough to bring a tiny, genuine smile from her lips. Still moving slowly to the mellow music he slid his hand slightly higher up her back, a human woman might prefer it lower to the small of her back, but Shayera liked his hands near her wings. Their fingers intertwined where they were grasped even as Shayera carefully slid her other arm around his shoulders pulling their faces a little closer. Close enough for a kiss but she nuzzled his face instead, a gentle caress as she shut her eyes and eventually tucked her nose against his warm neck.

Now, at last the slight awkwardness and nervousness had started to fade. John leant into her stripping away any daylight that could have shone between them and holding her tightly, likewise recognising that Shayera was holding onto him just as closely.

While the music played and they continued to slowly respond to it, John came to an important realisation even as Shayera looked up into his face and smiled.

They just had to get to know each other again.

**An/ I don't know why but I really love the notion of John and Shayera dancing :3**


	49. Contemplations

**An/ A little look into Thanagarian culture with this one, I hope you like it. **

Contemplations

She hated waiting, especially right at this moment.

Shayera was sat in a chair, feet propped up onto the table beside the monitor that was busy humming away quietly. In her hands she fiddled with something absently while continuing to wait and trying to force down the persistent worry that was starting to develop inside of her. Eventually after what to her felt like hours the monitor blipped, sitting up and letting her feet hit the floor Shayera flipped a switch and attacked a number of keys before an image started to fill the screen. A fuzzy but slowly clearing image of John Stewart was before her, she saw him seating himself down to face her looking tired and a little rugged.

"Shayera?" He asked dubiously as if doubting the tech he was relying on in order to communicate with her.

She grinned at his expression before replying "Hey Marine, how's it going?"

Even as she watched his shoulders noticeably relaxed upon hearing her voice "It could be better." Was his answer as he tilted his head she suspected to crack his neck "The election process here is slow and we've had a couple of outbursts."

His voice was filled with a touch of static but she could still pick up the deep tones of it.

"Nothing serious I hope?" Shayera asked as she returned her feet to the table and let herself smile as John raised his eyebrow at the gesture.

"Nothing to worry about, but I think I'm going to be longer than I thought."

Shayera felt her previous relief at hearing and seeing him disappear "How much longer?" He had already been gone two weeks as it was.

"Another week at least," He looked just as unhappy as she did at the news "They still need the security of the corps here, we can't leave until they have a result."

She nodded understanding "Guess you'll just have to wait a little longer." Shayera said as she started fiddling with the item in her hands again.

John raised his eyebrow again "What for?" He was obviously curious.

"You'll find out when you get home."

"Gives me something to look forward to then." He grinned even as he looked over his shoulder at someone "I'm going to have to go now, Shayera...promise I'll see you soon."

Shayera put her feet back down and focused on him "Promise?"

"Promise." John confirmed and he touched his hand to the screen to the exact place where Shayera had now placed hers.

"See you soon, John."

Neither of them liked goodbyes so the words weren't shared, instead the monitors were switched off and Shayera wondered if John felt as empty as her right then but she knew that he did.

Sighing Shayera once again stacked her feet up onto the table and continued to play with the object in her hands, it was what she had been referring to when she told John that he would have to wait. Looking down Shayera watched as her fingers trailed over the decorative hilt before she pulled gently and removed the short blade from its sheath for her examination. The blade itself was Thanagarian, a ceremonial blade to be precise and she intended to give it to John when he returned.

On Thanagar there were two stages involved in becoming bound to someone for life, the first stage was completed by the male, a giving of earrings that if accepted promised the female to him. The second stage was fulfilled by the female in her own time choosing to offer her promised one a ceremonial blade, on acceptance they became bound and unified to each other. The Earth equivalent was marriage.

Shayera stared at the blade for a long time; she had intended to present Hro with such a blade upon her return to Thanagar after her mission but things changed. Instead she was now sitting in her chair debating how her human lover might respond to her gift and whether he would ever understand how important it was to her that he accepted it. The idea of marriage or engagement had never come up between them even though they had been back together now for over six months, but Shayera felt that for her and her culture that it was long overdue.

The blade was usually given at a ceremony, something like a wedding where certain words were exchanged, a new set of earrings given to the woman as the man received the ceremonial weapon. Shayera had gotten hers from Carter and the blade was ancient compared to the one she might have given Hro but it was also more fitting.

Getting up Shayera decided that she would offer the weapon to John and explain what it meant both to Thanagar and to her, she wouldn't push him to complete a ceremony and she wouldn't push him to accept...but she hoped that he would.

**An/ Also quick note. The next drabble will be the last one, I've got something planned for it which I'll start on shortly. But I hope you liked this one for the time being :)**


	50. Conclusions

**An/ Well, I don't really know what to say except for a massive, Thank-you! To everyone who has read, reviewed, faved and helped me along with encouragement during these drabbles. When I first started this series I never thought it would go for as long as it has but I am immensely proud of them. I hope that you have enjoyed my interpretation of John and Shayera as much as I have enjoyed writing them and I hope you enjoy the last drabble of this series, my thanks for all of your support. **

**I will also say that this is by no means the last you will see of these two from me, I am already thinking on another series to devote to them as they have as odd as it sounds, become rather important to me. **

**Anyway I'll let you get on with reading this...its a long one ;) Lots of references in here to episodes, other drabbles and other stories by me. **

**Thank you to all of you once again!**

**S-Bumblebee **

_And now, as long as I can, I'm holding on with both hands,_

'_Cause forever I believe that there's nothing I can need but you._

_So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know._

_You're never gonna be alone,_

_From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,_

_I won't let you fall._

_When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on._

_We're gonna see the world out,_

_I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone._

_Nickelback – Never gonna be alone_

Conclusions

She loves it here, one of the few places where she feels at peace both with herself and the world.

Sitting on the roof of their humble wooden cabin, Shayera looks out across the landscape. A burly forest surrounds their home with branches stretching up to reach the sky, they are beautiful in the spring and summer seasons when they are laced with flowers and blossoms. To one side there is a clearing where the trees stop, there she can see the mountains far off into the distance where she has spent and still spends hours flying with John or with Rex.

The sun is starting to set behind the forest and she watches as the clouds are distorted by the changes in light, a pale pink softening their harsher surfaces as a warm orange bleaches the sky. Behind her there is a sound, an awkward clatter and she hears a soft grumble of complaint before he sits down beside her with a sigh.

"Thought I'd find you here." John remarked looking out at the sky with her.

"You thought right." She replied, automatically shifting closer to him.

She knows what he is about to say next because she knows how disappointed he is, really she is disappointed too.

"I can't believe he can't visit." John grumbled leaning back against the roof so that Shayera could lay her head on him.

"He has plans, John...he has a life of his own now." She understands that Rex has his own commitments now but she still feels saddened that she won't see him for his usual weekend visit.

"I know," John confessed reluctantly, his fingers idly stroking one of her wings "But he is visiting less every week."

Shayera shifts so that she is now lying beside him on her side, propping her head up with a hand as she looks down at him with a very soft smile. If she knows her son, he will if he isn't already, try to rearrange his schedule so that he can pay them a visit.

"Give him a break John."

He noticeably sighs before looking up at her, smiling at her fondly "What were you doing up here anyway?"

"I was just watching the sunset." She replied honestly. She came up here often to watch it or the sunrise; although on other occasions she has retreated up here during some of their very few serious arguments, escaping to the roof before either of them could say something they regretted. After all their past was filled with land mines just waiting to be aggravated and set off, but thankfully they had managed to avoid most of them.

For a while neither of them spoke any further, it was easy for them both just to _be_ together. Shayera returned her head to his chest while she thought about their lives together; she was feeling rather reflective tonight.

They were getting older now, she couldn't fly for as long or as far as she used to, fighting crime was getting harder. John too was getting older, evident in the light smattering of silver she could see in his goatee and now no longer bald head...thankfully the moustache had been shaved off years ago. Soon they would retire from the League, they had discussed it on occasions but she knew it would now be sooner rather than later, John would let his ring go to select a new Lantern and she would hang up her mace for good. Rex though would carry the torch for them both, he had been in the League now for a few months and she had every faith in him, much like his Father in every way but every bit as bad tempered and aggressive as her.

She was _so_ proud of him and she told him every time she saw him even if it did embarrass him.

"Fancy some hot chocolate?" John asked carefully breaking the pleasant quietness.

Shayera sat up a little, eyebrow raised.

John looked back at her a playful smile spreading on his lips "We've got marsh mellows..." He elaborated trying to coax her.

At last she grinned and leant down to give him a kiss "I'd love some."

She loved John's hot chocolate, she didn't know what he did to it but it always had a spicy edge to it that reminded her of a drink she used to indulge in back on Thanagar...of course that was years ago now. Carefully she stood up and flexed her wings testily, they ached nowadays if they were in one position too long, sometimes she missed the days when she could fly all day long without issue. John dubiously stood up beside her; his ring was probably with his Lantern battery as he wore it less and less at home now.

"I'm guessing you want a hand down?" She asked teasing.

John peeked over the edge before shaking his head "I'm fine...I might be old but I can still get around."

"Alright...but don't blame me if you misjudge and hurt yourself."

"At least I'll have a nice nurse to take care of me and my wounded self." John teased her back as he started to clamber down.

Shayera snorted "You wish." And both of them laughed, easily, naturally...happily.

Inside their cabin home John left Shayera in the living room as he busied himself in the kitchen preparing their hot drinks. While she waited she carefully stoked the fire seeing as it had been rather chill outside, as she looked up from the dancing flames she looked at the various items and trinkets on the mantelpiece.

On centre stage was a small decorative, sheathed blade sitting on its own frame. It was the ceremonial blade she had offered John after his return from a long Lantern mission. Behind it was a picture frame, the picture inside was of the two of them together, smiling and laughing at the traditional Thanagarian ceremony John had insisted they have. Absently Shayera reached up and fingered the simple earrings he had given to her on that day; she smiled to herself remembering how John had practiced night and day in order to correctly pronounce the Thanagarian words he needed to say.

Further along the mantle was a second picture frame, similar to the first but this one was a photograph of them together on their Earth marriage ceremony. She wore a long white dress that day and everyone repeatedly told her how beautiful she looked, even when she looked at them bizarrely after being told that she was supposed to throw her flowers at their guests. This time she peered down at her left hand where a golden band glimmered revealing her commitment to the man that was still tinkering in the kitchen, the man that had entered her life unexpectedly but she now couldn't imagine an existence without him.

Other items decorated the shelf, pictures of Rex at various stages of his life as well as the vast amount of arts and crafts projects he had brought home from school. Her favourite was a little clay pot, moulded and obviously painted with care, but there were also what Wally had described as squiggles when he had seen them...they were in fact Rex's earlier, very wobbly Thanagarian runes.

Turning away from the fireplace Shayera stooped down and picked up a large bound book that was resting along with another pile of books. She carried it with her as she moved to one of the sofas just as John entered with their drinks.

"I haven't put your marsh mellows in yet because I know you like to dip them." John said absently as he set her drink down on the table, his own right beside it, a mug with '_World's Greatest Dad'_ written in large writing.

"Thank-you." She replied settling down on the couch still clutching the large book. John glanced at it eyes twinkling when he realised what it was and sat down beside her. John moved just enough so that she could curl up beside him against his chest, the book sitting neatly on his lap as he put an arm around her.

"Been a while since we've looked through this." John remarked running his fingers over the cover.

Slowly he opened it up revealing on the first page a number of articles and clippings, many of the first pages were like this, all snippets from the League when it had first started up. Articles on the Imperial Invasion and numerous other missions they had been involved in. They had both spent days in the archives searching for these insights into the history of their family and it included everything except for the Thanagarian invasion.

Still turning pages they reached where the photographs started, pictures of them together or with the other founders, snaps taken at Christmas and at various parties. Soon the pictures changed again, ultrasound scans and pictures of a very grumpy Shayera during her pregnancy, including one of her reaching for the camera before she attempted to smash it.

John stopped as he reached one of his favourite pictures. The photograph filled the whole page and was the first photo ever taken of Shayera and Rex together after he was born. Shayera looked exhausted but glowing in a way he had never seen, tiny Rex bundled up in warm blankets and held closely to her chest as she smiled tiredly at the camera. John smiled and glanced at Shayera where she was still huddled up close to him.

"Some warrior you were," He chuckled softly "You were like putty after they gave him to you."

"Maybe...but I seem to recall that I broke two of your fingers..."

And sure enough when John turned the page there was Shayera's favourite photograph. John, the proud Father of his new born son, holding Rex as if he was something precious that could be easily broken. Even with his son wrapped up in his arms it was clear to see his bandaged and bound fingers. Her grip during labour had been like a vice and John swore even to this day that even Superman would have crumbled by it.

Another page was turned and these ones were full of Rex as he grew up, snaps of him as a tiny baby, crawling, laughing, food all over his mouth as John tried to feed him mashed bananas. Shayera laughed when they reached the pictures that showed Rex after he learned to walk, he was a very curious child and was into just about everything and anything. He had reminded her much of herself in those days, his constant curiosity and John following him around the house as he grabbed various items and shoved them instinctually in his mouth.

Soon there were hand drawn pictures in the mix, drawings by Rex while he was at school. Drawings of his family, Mum and Dad scribbled in wonky letters next to their drawn selves, later the other Leaguers were graced onto paper, Wally the most frequent star in Rex's artwork.

'_Uncle Wally!'_ Rex would often scream when seeing the speedster, running around with Flash at high speed almost as thrilling as flying with his Mother as she carried him over the trees and mountains.

All too soon the pictures became certificates of achievement, school pictures of Rex showing how much older he seemed to get every year although he clearly resembled his Father in every one of them. He had grown up so quickly but John and Shayera had made sure that they recorded every moment of it, every single second from his first Christmas to his first girlfriend and beyond.

Shayera sighed as they neared the end "He's grown up so fast."

John ran a hand through her feathers and lightly touched her back "Yeah...but it's been worth every second," He looked at her smiling at her "Every second."

She smiled too, the smile disappearing slowly as John leaned in touching his face gently to hers, his nose nuzzling her as she slowly returned the gesture. Something Thanagarian, something that even though she didn't wear a mask anymore still meant as much now as it had always done. Slowly her eyes lulled and started to close as he touched his lips gently to her eyes and nose.

Behind them a phone rang but it was momentarily ignored while they continued their affectionate face touching, but eventually neither of them could ignore it any longer. John pulled away from her and reached behind him, blindly searching with his hand until he came across the telephone.

"Hello?"

Shayera returned to burying herself close against him taking in his scent and enjoying his warmth.

"Well, that would be great son...see you then."

John put the phone down and pressed his nose to the top of her head "Rex said he can come by tomorrow evening, said he managed to change a few things."

Shayera smiled knowing that she knew her son very well indeed.

_Just like his Father._

"That's great," She said softly "Now you can stop moping."

"I wasn't moping." John replied defensively.

"Of course not..."

"You were just as bad."

She snorted "Maybe..." She was quiet for a little while "I love you John."

He kissed the top of her head as he put the book that recorded their life onto the table "I love you too Shayera...always."


End file.
